Jeans and Sneakers

I’m pretty excited about it.  My final dress fitting is on Thursday.  Everything else has been all settled and planned for months, so now it’s just waiting.

We went to go see StaticX tonight, they put on a pretty good show.  What a pain in the ass it is for us to get to the city though!

The house is coming along well.  We’re ready to sand and paint the lower level, at least some of it, but we should start painting later this week.  Things are happening so quickly now.  I have to contact Stony Brook soon to see if there’s room for me to attend this semester or what.  I’m not really holding my breath though.

I keep slacking on getting my portfolio site done.  There are a few things left to do, and then I can just update it here and there, but for some reason it’s really hard for me to sit down and work on it.

I’ve been listening to audiobooks lately, and knitting.  I started a Baby Surprise Jacket for a friend of mine in AZ who’s having a baby boy soon.  I might be late with it, but I don’t think she’ll mind.  I don’t even know when she’s due, I should probably find that out, along with her mailing address.

I need to start running, now that my treadmill is fixed.  I also should start doing situps and stuff again, I kind of slacked off hard with that. And trying to get to sleep at a normal time.  Now is no exception.

Been in a funky mood lately, don’t really know what’s up with me. It’s probably because of everything that’s going on.  The quickly upcoming weddings, (and the stress of trying to make sure everything’s ready in time for them), still not knowing which school I’ll be attending in the fall, my precarious work situation. . .and my dwindling bank account balance.  *sigh*

I was scrapbooking today, for my wedding guestbook. It’s kind of fun putting things together, and trying to match themes with pictures.  I made some of my own embellishments with shrinkydinks.  Those are so weird. But fun!

I don’t know what made me think of the Andrews Sisters song, but I got it today. Then out of nowhere I started thinking about my grandmother, and how I recently found out she had gone to business school upstate, and lived in Saratoga Springs with my grandfather for 10 years before having children. Why didn’t they stay up there? Where did they live? I’d love to go see the place where my grandmother and grandfather lived for 10 years.

Right now, I would love, more than anything, a little bit of peace of mind. I don’t think it’s going to happen any time soon though. :[

Haven’t written much lately.  I’ve been busy but at the same time not much is going on.  Trying to pick up website jobs here and there mostly from people I know.  Planning out the second wedding, it looks like we’re probably going to have it in our backyard.  No big deal there.  Sleepy. Sleep.

Things have been kind of crazy as of late.  Two weekends in a row around the transition from May to June I spent traveling. First to Rochester to tour RIT with my brother, sister, and Rob, and then to New Orleans to attend a wedding. It’s funny, I had just fixed my sleep schedule before the trips, and afterwards, we returned so exhausted it was all we could do to sleep for hours.  That’s why I’m writing at 4:30 am.

I’m getting more and more excited as the wedding gets closer and closer. Most of the planning has been done since early March, but I’m still fussing about the few remaining odds and ends.  I ordered a veil online, it gets here tomorrow.  I wasn’t sure if I wanted to wear one, and was actually thinking of a birdcage veil, but I ended up choosing one that is completely different and perfect.

I want to make some sort of favor for the guests, but I’m having a hard time coming up with good ideas.  Anything I buy here will have to be brought to Barbados, and assembled there if necessary, and I can’t really do any of the candy/food options since you can’t take food with you to other countries usually.  Unless I buy candy there to fill the favors with.  I have an odd sort of competition in my mind. . .we went to Rob’s grandmother’s house for Easter dinner, and one of his relatives just recently got married.  His wife knows we’re about to get married and was talking about how she did all of the wedding decorations and favors herself. She showed me as much as she could, whatever Rob’s grandmother had around from the favors, and in my mind I kind of want to one-up that.  It’s petty and stupid I know, but I have to be competetive in something, right?

Anyway, I haven’t come up with anything really cool that is useful and not expensive yet.

I’ve been slowly working on a handful of sites. I’ve completed two, for the most part, just waiting on content, and I’ve got one more paying one in the works, and then 5 of my own project sites to start on. 4 of which will go on my portfolio page, well 3, and one of which IS my portfolio page. It’s often hard to be creative and come up with something for these sites, and the only one I’m really proud of, I can’t even be completely proud of because I followed a design tutorial. Ugh. Whatever, it got me money, and the customer is VERY pleased.

I’ve also been wasting a lot of time.  I have no idea what I spend it doing, but many days have passed where I woke up, showered and whatever, sat down at the computer, and then realized it’s like 6 or 7 pm.  I think I’ve been pretty busy with stupid errands and stuff too, that I just don’t remember.

We got our prenup today.  Thank goodness that process is over.  Even as simple as we kept things, it required a lot of our time and money.  My lawyer was good though, very thorough and awesome, so things went smoothly.

Yesterday I had some kind of crazy attack or something. We were in Home Depot, and suddenly I knew I urgently needed to be in our home bathroom. We dropped everything and went home right away, and when I got here, I had some pretty intense pain, and general bathroom unpleasantness. I thought the worst was over afterwards, but I had a spell of what to me felt like period cramps. I don’t have my period right now.  I’ve been having pain on and off since having my IUD inserted, and I even went back to the doctor last month to inquire about the pain.  They basically told me if I still have pain, that’s just how it is, and I’m going to have to deal with it or get it removed. They didn’t examine me though.

The cramps came in waves over the course of a few hours, and were severe enough to make me cry at one point. They eventually passed, but now I’m wondering if maybe I don’t have a kidney stone or gall stone or something of the sort.  The pain, when it comes, is always on my right side, and that’s pretty odd considering I have two ovaries and normal period cramps can come from both sides or at least alternate. I may have to go to a different doctor to see what’s up.  I’m kind of hesitant about it though, and besides, chances are if I did have a stone, they’d just tell me to drink lots of water, and wait for it to come out naturally.

That’s pretty much all that’s going on for now. I just felt like updating since it’s been awhile.

Is it just me, or does everyone always begin a traveling expedition with minimal amounts of sleep? Ever since I can remember, a trip meant excitement, unknown territories, and it all begins with one endless night of imagination and lack of sleep.

Tomorrow we’re flying into New Orleans for a wedding on Friday.  I took a melatonin.  It hasn’t kicked in yet.

I’m wondering about all of the awesome things we’re sure to see, all of the fun we’re about to have. . .and sleep is nowhere on my mind. Except that I know that I should be sleeping, because I know come 8:30 tomorrow morning, my alarm will be going off, and I’ll be running around like crazy making sure I’m not forgetting anything.

More later, hopefully with pics.

First Handspun Yarn! YAY!

I’m pretty impressed with this.  I absolutely hate this wool, but I spun enough to be able to ply it together into a yarn.  It’s horrible.  My last bobbin of singles was ridiculously thick and thin, it’s been forever since I took that class, and even then, the stupid woman wasn’t much help, she just yelled at me.  W/e, I’m still proud of my very first ball of handspun yarn.  And I fully intend to use the rest of the awful wool to spin up to eventually  make something useful like a hat or little scarf or something.

Tomorrow we leave for Rochester.  Road trip! We’re taking my brother up to RIT to tour there, and see if he’s interested in going there.  It should be a good time, I have to remember to charge and bring my camera.  :]

I’m a procrastinator by nature. Sometimes, when the sun is perfectly aligned with my emotional state, I get the urge to get up and start doing something. Yesterday was our 5&9 monthiversary. We went out to dinner and that was pretty normal. But when we got home, I was browsing around on the internet, but instead of falling into the black hole of time like I usually do, everything I saw was making me antsy. I wanted to DO things. I wanted to make something, lots of things. I wanted to get moving.

It started with getting things for the wedding. There were a few odds and ends that I hadn’t gotten yet. Like plugs for my ears, since I can’t get just regular earrings. A nose ring. Garters. A bra. I went on theknot.com to see if there was anything else I was forgetting. I had registered there, and there was a countdown until my wedding!! 91 days left!! Once all of these things were taken care of, I still itched to do something. I decided it was time to rearrange my craft room. It’s hard to be creative in a space you’re not comfortable in. After doing all I possibly could there, it was morning, so Rob and I got breakfast, and then went to sleep.

Waking up though the feeling was back. I decided to finally go running. I know even though I’m thin, I’m grossly out of shape, and it’s something I want to remedy before the wedding. Maybe being in better shape will help my digestive system, since apparently it doesn’t like digesting anything I eat anymore. I walked down to our local little beach at the fastest pace I could manage without looking like one of those weird speed walkers. I was feeling good, my calves were starting to burn with that “I’m working out” feeling. Good deal. When I reached the beach I told myself, “Ok self, we’re starting out small. See if you can run all the way back to the house.” I was so confident. I thought that I’d at least make it half to 3/4 of the way back to the house before not being able to run anymore. I was wrong. Running felt awkward, my feet didn’t know if they wanted to land flat or on the balls. My back hurt, and within probably 45 seconds I had lost control of my breathing and my throat was beginning to get raw. Awesome. I stopped running, but kept walking, to keep up the movement. I needed two more breaks before I made it back to the house. Pathetic.

I got home and got some water. So disappointed in myself I figured I should do some pushups too, get an overall body goodness thing going. I couldn’t do ONE real pushup. I had problems doing 10 “girly” pushups. I suck. The only comfort came in knowing I can do at least 50 situps. Which I did. I am so, so, so pathetic. I need to keep this up. Running, pushups, situps, every day. And maybe some jump rope for endurance help. This needs to go away, I need to be in better shape.  Grr. This will change.

This weekend was surprisingly pleasant.  I was dreading it, since Saturday held my programming final as well as the last Cinderella show. . .which was shortened.  But the final and the musical went over well, and quickly.  Before I knew it, I had nothing else to do with my day, which was absolutely warm and beautiful.  Chris came over and we grilled and drank a little and it was just nice.  Even yesterday was nice, relaxing.

I slept late today, again.  It’s becoming more and more difficult to get myself out of bed.  The only reason I didn’t stay in bed later today was because I thought I had an appointment at 3pm.  That’s pretty sad.

Well, I have to get my shit together and get to work on some stuff.

But I wouldn’t.  Today I was supposed to review for my programming final that is tomorrow (which I kind of have) and start figuring out joomla so that I could make my website.  Instead, I woke up at 3 pm, found other stuff to do until around 5 or 6 pm, took a shower, got dressed, found other other stuff to do until I remembered that Rob had gotten me a wii game I haven’t played yet.  So I played that for a while, while Rob reheated some pasta leftovers for dinner.  We ate, and then I did nothing I can remember, until which time I decided it would be a good idea to make candy.  I began making homemade marshmallows until I realized that you really should have a mixer.  So we went out and got said mixer, and a candy thermometer, came home, and I completed making the marshmallows.  After which, I proceeded to make english toffee.

What the eff is wrong with me.  I have no power to focus today what so ever.

Every once in awhile, a few times a month maybe, I have dreams about Gene. What the hell. They are unsettling and unwelcome. It’s never anything racy, just he appears, and then I get all upset, or awkward, because the situation with him was so messed up.
It’s never like “I wish I was still with him!”, it’s always, why did it have to be like that?!
I’d like to leave the past in the past, but it seems my brain doesn’t want me to.