Jeans and Sneakers

Well 2007 certainly went out on a high note.  Rob closed on the house on Monday, and things have been pretty crazy around here.  We’ve been to the house every day this week so far, and we’re moving in on Saturday.  Going to have to try and pack before then.  I haven’t gotten ANY knitting done.  All of my projects for a while will have to be from my stash, because I’m not going to have any money, lol.

We bought appliances today.  Our kitchen is going to be awesome.  Then we can start cooking again.  I miss having good food.  And eventually I can start packing lunch boxes.  Right now it seems like everything is “eventually”.  There’s still so much to do.

This is the post where I spill the beans.

Last night I had a dream that I was in my grandma’s old apartment, and I was there with my mom and my dad, but I wanted to leave, and for some reason my mom didn’t want me to.  The situation escalated from an argument into a physical fight, and I was frightened for my life, and worried that I would never be able to leave the apartment.  The only way I got away was because I went to punch my mom in the face in defense, and I was wearing my $7 cz ring, and it cut her face.  She went to the bathroom to examine the damage, and while she was in there, I gathered my things and left, all the while yelling at my dad cause he didn’t help me at all the whole time, he just sat there reading the newspaper.

I’m pretty sure that my dream last night had to do with actual events last night.  My mom came over with my brothers to do laundry.  I had a decision to make.  I could either try to censor myself and make sure I didn’t tell my mom what’s been going on in my life recently, or I could just tell her, and watch her get excited for me.  We’re buying a house.  This house:

I was both hesitant and excited to tell her about it.  Part of me knew that she’d react the way she did, but I was hoping that she’d be a little bit more adult, and be happy for her youngest daughter.  Whatever.  I told her, and though the words are pretty much what I expected, ie: “oh, that’s great!  What a great deal!  I’m so happy for you guys!”, it was apparent that she was jealous, bitter, and angry.  She tried to hide it but not very well, and it’s really making me mad.  So much so that I had that awful nightmare about it.

I even tried to tell her the benefits of it for her, how we’ll be that much closer to her, and I told her I’d invite her over and we could hang out and stuff, and she just kind of laughed at the idea.  All I could think of the whole time was the ugly stepsisters and stepmother in Cinderella.  They just couldn’t be happy for her, because all they could do was think about themselves.

I had to put it out of my head.  All I could do was tell myself that it wasn’t my fault she’s in the situation she’s in, and isn’t currently a homeowner herself, or not currently in a relationship with someone that makes her able to buy a house, cause I’m sure as hell not doing this alone, and without Rob and his parents, this wouldn’t even be happening.  But it makes me angry still that she’s acting this way.  I don’t think I’ll give her the address for some time.  That might sound just as childish, but honestly, I just don’t want to deal with her if she’s just going to act that way.  Even Rob picked up on it.  :[

I also had to cancel my voice lessons.  The guy who I was taking lessons from was a total douchebag.  I'm not going to go into all of the details, but they're done.  I'm not going back.

In better news, I learned how to cable.  Pidgeon Forecast is coming along nicely:

I had to rip it back to the end of the collar twice.  The first time I was watching a movie and messed up because I hadn't paid close enough attention, and the second time, I was following directly a cable pattern from a pattern book I have, but it made the cable look bad, and it was upside down from how I wanted it.  So I ripped back again, and figured out how to make the cable look like I want, and now it's going along.  I'm worried I'll stop making progress on it this coming week, because that's when a video game expansion that I pre-ordered comes out, and I know I'll be playing a lot.  I'll have to learn to divide my time so I get to do both.  I wonder if that's even possible.

I've been completely neglecting my jaywalkers.  I'm a little bit bored with the pattern, but hopefully, starting this sweater will reinvigorate my knitting cravings.  It already seems to have, but I'd much rather work on the sweater than the sock.  I'll probably start bringing in the sock to work on at lunch again.  That was working out well.

Work has been good, but my boss has been in India for the past week, so I haven't had to make her tea, or make any for any meetings or anything.  She comes back sometime this week.  Hopefully I can not tweak out too much when she does.

Now that I've spilled the beans about the house, let me elaborate a little.  We're getting it for a great deal, because the lower level isn't going to be completed.  No, it's not a basement.  There is no basement.  The bottom floor, which is completely above ground, will not be completed.  It will need electricity run to outlets and light switches, sheetrock, spackle, trim, flooring, and paint.  Luckily we have a carpenter friend who owes Rob a few favors.  We will be able to set up the bottom floor exactly how we want it, which is nice.  The upper level, the main living area, where all the bedrooms, bathrooms, living room, and kitchen are, will all be completed.  We're going today to pick out the carpet and the linolium for the kitchen floor.  We're waiting for the mortgage to come through, and then we'll go to closing, and we'll be able to move in.  Probably won't happen until January.  I'm excited.  It has a fireplace and a skylight, and two full bathrooms.  I'm going to have to buy appliances and furniture.  Decorate.  What an adventure.  :]

But that’s why I’ve been stressing for the last little while, and that’s why I’ll be broke for the next year or so, if not longer.  At least it’s for a good cause.  It’s got a 2 car garage.  I’ll be able to garage my car in the winter.  :]

I’ve been averaging about 1 resume sent out a day.  I could be less selective, less picky, but I’m not quite so desperate yet.

The day flies by when you’re not loathing every second of it.

I know I’ve written in here about some conversations I have with my mom sometimes.  Mostly I write about them when she pisses me off and we end up hanging up on a bad note.  I hung up on her today and she emailed me saying that she doesn’t appreciate being hung up on, and that if I didn’t want to speak to her, that I should do her the kindness of letting her know.

I’m pretty sure what I wrote back is going to cause some drama.  It was 100% truth though, and that’s what kind of sucks about it.  I don’t know how she’s going to take it, and we’ll probably not talk for awhile.  I wish some people would just open their eyes and see what they are doing, then they wouldn’t get mad at me for telling them what they should have seen all along if they weren’t lying to themselves.  :[

I know I sound pretty righteous, and I’m not trying to come off like that,  I just know from experience that in situations like this, I’m usually right, and then people who came to me for advice, and then went against what I told them, came back later regretting, and telling me that they should’ve listened to me.  How many times do you have to have that happen to you before you can just be like. . .well you should start listening to me then.

*sigh*

I’m going to go try to scare myself now.

So I’ve been taking this spinning wheel class, right?  I figured, well I bought this expensive ass spinning wheel, I might as well learn to use it.   Fine.  Great.

My spinning wheel teacher is an impatient snot.  I’ve come to hate her.  I have two classes left, and I’m seriously considering not even going to them.

What makes her so bad?  Well, I thought the premise of teaching, was to impart knowledge, or skills, or both, upon someone who previously did not have said knowledge  or skills.  This being said, if someone continuously tells you that what you are doing is wrong, her voice getting a little more annoyed every time, and all without telling you or showing you the correct way to do whatever it is you are doing, I do not consider that teaching.  Not even tutoring.  I call it bullying.

And if the student, frustrated from being told only what she is doing wrong and not being shown the correct way, was to get angry and speak a little bit louder telling said teacher that she doesn’t know what is the correct way to do it, the teacher should not sputter about how the student said she wanted to give it a try hands on, and thus, the teacher can not show the student the correct way to do it.

Basically, she spoke to me like a child throwing a tantrum after I got mad at her repeatedly telling me all of the things I was doing wrong, and not showing or telling me how to correct the problem.  How the EFF is that a class?  >:[

She ruined the rest of my day.  I drove all the way out there in my new car, manual transmission ALL BY MYSELF for the first time, with no major issues, and she pissed me off so badly that driving home I made more mistakes than I did the first time I ever got into the car.  What’s worse, I tried to lighten up and go driving with Rob, but I was still making mistakes everywhere and now he thinks (though through no fault of mine) that one of the struts needs a new bearing or something. . .blah, blah, more money to spend to keep the car running.  Yay.

I sent my resume to an ad yesterday, for a graphic design position that sounded interesting.  The ad had some serious humor in it, so I replied in kind with links to my websites (not this one though, shame, cause the design is mine, but I don’t want any future employer having the url of my personal blog. . .) and my attached resume.  They emailed me back today with a homework assignment, to touch up and composite some pictures, and spend no more than 30 mins doing it.  I did it, but I think I did poorly, I haven’t heard back from them today, but we’ll see come Monday or Tuesday if they get back to me.

The other place was a glass blowing studio that said they needed a shop assistant, with no experience necessary, so we’ll see on that one too.

I’ve been working on this doll for the screen printing girl, it’s due on Sunday, and I’m having a rough time of it.  I really have to push myself to work on it, and I’m finding that I’m not even enjoying the process that much.  :/  I hope it passes, it wouldn’t do to try and build a business on something I don’t like doing.  That’s kind of what’s spurring my job applications.

I really want to just have some time with no deadlines for anything.  So I can just relax for a little while.  I want to finish my Honorine sweater, but I haven’t found the time.  Maybe I’ll try out some of the lace again now. . .

And last week was just annoying.

I had another meeting with my boss on Friday, and basically, he’s still not accepting that I don’t want to work for him. Or in any office. He tried to say that he was thinking of me in the long run, that he didn’t want to let me go, and then years down the line when his business is all successful, to have me look back and be like, “*sigh* I could’ve had a great position in that company. . .”

Please. He doesn’t understand that money doesn’t rule me, at least not the way it obviously runs him. I care about how I spend my days. If I didn’t, I woudn’t have a problem with this job.

He basically told me that he wants me to stay, and that he’s willing to work out different scheduling (again), this time mentioning the possibility of leaving early instead of coming in late, or the very slim chance of having a 20 min lunch break in the middle of the day to go home. (which, in 20 mins, I’d have about enough time to come home, unlock the door, look around, lock the door, and drive back to work.) He says he’s willing to work with me to eventually, after we’ve hired more people, get me out of customer service and focused more on design and marketing/advertising.

He apparrently didn’t hear the part when I said that I just don’t want an office job, ultimately.

How can you tell a person “I just don’t want to be doing this with myself” when you say those words, literally, and they just either don’t hear you or choose to ignore what you’re saying?

I still want my car. I only have so much money. The longer I remain at my job, the better my chances of getting my car (and my tooth bridge) (which should be my top priority right now, but isn’t). However, the one thing my boss has made abundantly clear, is that he wants me either for the long haul, or not at all. Though if I leave, there’ll probably be a grace period where he’d have to look for a replacement, and I MAY have to train them. I’m really not sure what’ll happen if I tell him I definitely want to leave, because so far, I’ve been completely unsuccessful at explaining to him that that REALLY IS what I want. Ultimately. Wtf. Over.

In less stressful news, I’m making some progress on Honorine. (And I totally forgot to make a progress meter for her) I’ve got the four panels that make the bulk of the sweater done, and I’ve started on sleeve #1. After this, I’ve got one sleeve, and two Y-shaped lace panels to go. I’ll take pictures when they’re blocking and look all pretty, cause right now they just look like four rolled up pieces of fabric.

Mother’s day is coming up and I’ll have to get back to those socks. And I deposited the check for the woman who bought a doll, as soon as it clears, I’ll be starting production.

Can we say NO PROGRESS?  I’ve wasted the past two nights trying to get started on Birch, only to totally rip the thing out and start over, TWICE.  The first time I tried it on my denise interchangeable needles, which I could see fairly quickly, wasn’t going to work.  The fine quality of KSH found every little nook and cranny it could to get stuck in these needles.  It was distracting enough for me to not be able to follow where I was in the pattern.  That was rip back #1.

Then I tried it on my good old hand-me-down aluminum 8 straights.  They’re about 14″ long.  Nowhere on that pattern does it say you have to knit on circulars, so what the heck, I gave it a go.  Might have worked out too, if the points were a little bit sharper to get under those stitches, and if I weren’t so used to working on teeny tiny short needles. . .the long length was so awkward that it was yet another distraction.  This time I got to row 5 I think before messing up beyond the hope of “It’ll get lost in the pattern!” and ripped it back.

I’ve read the comments on Fig and Plum’s posts when she was having troubles starting out on Birch.  (Which, btw, that such a talented knitter also had issues with this, makes me feel immeasurably better) Then the hunt was on.  Since I’ve wasted I don’t even know how much yarn, trying to get this started, (I could rip everything back up until the cast on row.  Then the yarn REFUSED to come out of it’s little knots and loops.  I tried everything, but in the end, just ended up lopping it off.) I had to find a place that had suitable needles, and another ball of KSH in the right color (What’s a dye lot?)  (I’m kidding, I know what they are, but at this point, I couldn’t care less about trying to match dye lots on a lace shawl).

I was getting pretty frustrated, and had stayed up later than I had planned, when I finally found a place that had both.  I ordered another ball, and some Addi Naturas.  I also ordered some Stitch Marker rings, in hopes of helping me keep track of where I am in the pattern.  (That was the hardest part for me, and boy did it come as a surprise!)  And because I’m an addict, I bought a skein of Lorna’s Laces in Charcoal (edit: I just realized that I’d need two skeins to make a pair of socks, and called to add another to the order, and they said it’s going out today, since they’re in Nevada), so two skeins of Lorna’s Laces in Charcoal to finally make Rob a pair of socks.

BTW, I ordered from Jimmy Beans Wool, and I’m linking them, because they are so awesome.

It’s Wednesday.  The roomate is STILL not out yet.  Though Rob tells me that he was here this morning (first time since Sunday) to pick up some more stuff.  I had a convo this morning with Bay about how I should just man up (ha ha) and tell him that if his stuff isn’t gone by Friday, it will be.  I kind of lost my steam after Rob told me that he picked up some stuff today though.  I really hate confrontations (call me chicken) and tend to lean towards “well at least. . .”  :[

Work is ok.  I get so bored during the day even when I have stuff to do sometimes.  It’s not the worst job I’ve ever had, but I still wake up in the morning wishing I could sleep in.  That’s probably not ever going to go away.  :[

So I finally rolled my sleep schedule back around again. I went to bed really early last night, and woke up this morning at 7. So I got up, took a shower, and planned for the day.

I ran some errands, I had to get razors and makeup, and wanted to see if my LYS (local yarn store) had any bamboo DPN’s (double pointed needles) in US size 1. They didn’t. They had a metal set of 4. I didn’t get them. But I did get this.

I like the colorway much better than the sock yarn I have now. It was on sale. (but still pricey for yarn. . .>;[ I’m not used to string being expensive yet.) I asked the clerk behind the counter for the bamboo needles and he actually brought out his ordering catalogue to see if bamboo DPN’s in US 1 even exist. They did, but he didn’t have them in stock, and I didn’t want to buy the ones he had. I felt guilty for bothering him (don’t know why, that’s what he’s friggin there for. . .) and bought the yarn. Plus it’s pretty. And I think I’m going to try the Jaywalker pattern everyone seems so keen on.

But that doesn’t mean I’ve given up on the sock I’ve started!! Oh no! Not at all!! I turned my first heel yesterday. Check it out:

This colorway is totally wonky. Like totally out there and crazy. I think I’d like it a whole lot more if they never put the orange in there. What were they thinking?

Notice how it’s all baggy and semi-shapeless. I’m hoping this’ll improve with blocking. When I put my hand inside and fill it out a bit, it really does look like a sock though, I swear!! A big sock at that. . .I think it might be too big for my foot. But we’ll see when I get to the toe.

For the new sock pattern I also got these:

I needed size 1’s. No place close by had them in bamboo. This seemed like a good deal for $10 at Jo-anns. YAY! As you can plainly see, this is quickly turning into an addiction. :/

And in non-knitting news. . . out of the blue I got a job today. The place that’s really close to my house called, and I start on Tuesday, half days next week to get a feel for the job and so that they can get a feel for me. I think the reason they took so long is because they hired someone else, and it didn’t work out. Oh well. At least I have a job. Hopefully it won’t suck!

I don’t remember if I mentioned it, but Rob’s grandpa died, and we’re going to his wake tonight. The funeral’s tomorrow. :/ Things like this just suck.

Also, as a side note, the landlord stopped by today. He was going to change his insurance on the house I guess, and saw the burnt siding out back. It’s fixed now, but the roomate hadn’t cleaned up the deck from when he replaced the siding, so of course, it was pretty messy back there with bits of burnt siding debris. And also, the kitchen garbage has been rotting for about two days now (that’s just how long it’s been rotting, not how long it’s been sitting there.), so it smells pretty rank. That couldn’t have been plus points with the landlord either. I’m hoping he doesn’t think ill of us now. . .and tell us we have to leave. We’re really close to having the roomate and his stupid gf out. . .and it would be a shame to lose the opportunity to have a nice clean house. :[

First off, let me just say that it hurts to type this right now, because the middle and ring fingers on my right hand are totally spastic from bowling yesterday.  Now, as for an explanation of how I lied. . .well, I took pictures of my sister in the sweater, and it fits her beautifully, however, I’m not posting the pictures because they came out bad, and it’s not fair to post pictures that don’t show how good she looked in it.  And also, I forgot to bring my camera to the bowling alley, and so there will be no pictures of that either.

We had a good time though.  Wyn, Chi, and Bay all made it out here alright, but when we ordered chinese food for dinner, it took an hour and 20 minutes to get here. . .causing us to miss our reservation for lanes at the bowling alley and also to miss Stephen, whom I’d invited while waiting for Wyn’s train to pull in.  We did manage to get a lane though, and aside from some crazy people bowling around us, we had fun.  I bowled horribly though, and would like to do it more often so that when I go my shoulder/arm/wrist/hand/fingers don’t die the next day.  It’s actually not that bad, but I am sore all over a little.  So out of shape it’s not even funny.  Who gets sore after bowling?!!?

So. . .the roomate’s gf is still here. . .but there has been some kind of change, there’s another bag of garbage in the hallway, but I don’t know if that’s just cleaning, or actual packing/moving preparation.  Rob kind of asked the roomate what was going on, and didn’t really get an answer.  Apparrently some time yesterday or today on WoW he asked what happened to the Ice King, something the roomate claimed he was going to become after he broke up with her. . .and the roomate said “She wants to try to work it out”.  Rob told him he’s pussywhipped.  Today Rob asked him what was going on, and he said he wasn’t sure, that he was dealing with a lot right now.  :/  Whatever.  There’s a big surprise coming tomorrow!!!  :]

Not having a job is really starting to bug me out.  Like, I’m starting to freak out, because my money is slowly running out. So in my freaked out state, I went looking for jobs on Monster.com.  I don’t typically like looking for jobs on sites like monster.com and careerbuilder.com, mostly because they’re like, those cookiecutter jobs. . .those typical office jobs that perfect people do in perfect business attire in perfect cubicles with perfect smiles and perfect makeup and plastic hair. . .ugh.  I get sick just thinking about it.  But sometimes I look because I get desperate, or because sometimes craig’s list just has total crap.  So I went looking on there today, and I saw that the yarn factory around the corner from me is hiring customer service people.  Holy crap, I got so excited.  So I sent them my resume.  It would be so cool if I could work there.  :]  I had actually sent them my resume on a whim a while back, but they weren’t hiring back then. . .but they were really nice about letting me know that they weren’t hiring!  I hope they contact me.

Rob and I got into a conversation about smart kids, and he was telling me that when he was younger, he got a really high IQ score, and the testing people told him it was high, but told him they didn’t want to tell him the actual score, lest it go to his head.  Hah.  Stupid people.  It did go to his head, (but not in a totally bad way) but it wouldn’t have really, if they just told him the score # and left it at that.  What kid knows the IQ score chart?  Like, it would have just been a number to him. . .anyway.  It got us talking about IQ tests, and I didn’t think I’d ever taken one.  So he told me that you can take one at iqtest.com, and that it was pretty accurate.  I don’t know if they changed the test though, because he said that it took like 45 mins to an hour to complete.  But when I went there, the test was 38 questions.  I don’t know if mine was accurrate or not, because there were some questions I knew I’d have to sit there and really think about for awhile, that I might actually confuse myself with a couple of times, and for those I just guessed.  It was partially because I knew that each question was timed, and if you take longer than 20 seconds to answer, it’s points off your total score.  Rob said that I was supposed to try to figure those out, and not just guess at them and that my score was probably wrong cause I didn’t really try.  Either way, my score equated to “Above average”.  Not quite gifted.  Word.

So. . .another week. . . I’m going to try and see if I can do some yoga tomorrow. 

:[ I totally told myself to write in my blog yesterday while at work with Rob. But I came home and totally forgot, once I started playing Simon the Sorcerer. Yeah, I'm talkin 1993!!!! This game is so fun! It's been awhile though, and I have to remember how to play these games, and to look for things to pick up. . .

I haven't knitted at all since my last post. :[ I think I was on a knitting high for awhile and I crashed. I'll pick it up again soon, I know I will, but for now, I'd rather just play video games.

In about an hour I'm going to the train station to pick up my sister. YAY! Then we'll chill here for a little bit and get something to eat before we go bowling. Bay is supposed to come out around 6, but I haven't heard from him, and Rob said he went out drinking last night, so I don't know if he's going to show.

So I got all pissed off last night, because after my roomate made a whole big deal about how he was going to dump his gf, and how he was going to change the locks the next day. . . she was over here last night. . .at 3am. She wasn't here around 8 or 9, or even 10 or 11. Somehow, she was here around 3 though. And there weren't any "packing" sounds coming from the room. They were watching a movie.

So tell me, why. . .after breaking up with your girlfriend because you suspected she was cheating on you, why would you have her over at 3am to watch a movie? Sounds like a bootie call to me, either that or she wanted to "talk". Which I wouldn't care about, except for that broken up couples don't bang unless they're getting back together. She wasn't here this morning though.

Sometime today, she must have snuck in, because she was in his room a few minutes ago, yelling at him about how she's really stressed out right now, and she told him before that she had to study. I don't know if they were fighting again, or if she was trying to study over here, or what, but I still didn't hear any packing going on. And last night Rob knocked over her *empty* shampoo bottles that have been sitting on the ledge of the bathtub for about 4 months now. This morning one of them, and both razors were back on the ledge.

I know some people reading this must be thinking maybe I should mind my own business. Sometimes, I feel that I'm getting too nosy into all of it. But you know what? This is my house. And no one talks to me, and I can ask questions, and I get answers that don't really answer my question, or just straight up lies (not from Rob that last. . .just when I ask the roomate). So really, the only way that I can try to know what's going on, is to keep an eye/ear out for what's happening, and try to draw my own conclusions. I just want them out of the house!!

I'm going to bring my camera to bowling tonight, so hopefully I'll have some silly pictures to share.

Oh! I should write about this. I was trying to take a nap earlier because I was really tired, but for some reason, my brain wouldn't shut up about making a pavillion. I'd try to calm my mind and tell it to quiet down, I wanted to take a nap, but no. . .my brain insisted that I had to plan out a way to make an outdoor pavillion that would be weather proof so that I could lie in it in the rain and not get wet. I did, and then I fell asleep. But since we rent, I can't build it, and now I've got this awesome idea that won't come to fruition. At least not yet. I told Rob about it, and he said that if he buys a house, I can build a pavillion in the back yard. :] And during my nap I had a dream that I saw a space ship!

A few hours ago, my roomate came in to talk to us.  He’s dumping the gf.  She’s been coming home between 3-6am for the past couple of weeks. . .with no real explanation of where she’s been.  And she’s been talking to this guy and just all around being really shady.  He said that the other night out of nowhere she said to him suddenly that she wasn’t happy in their relationship.  He thinks she’s cheating.  She came home around half an hour ago, and they went into his room, only to have her storm out a few minutes later, slamming the door.  He went after her, and yelled “Don’t slam my shit!”

Hopefully he’ll actually dump her.  I’m so tired of dealing with that whole situation.  The thing that really bugs me though, is when he came in, he started off like “I hope you guys haven’t found another roomate yet.”  Like he hasn’t done anything wrong, and we just wanted him to leave because he was with her.  Like he hasn’t lied for about a year now, and been even more of a scumbag than ever.  Like he didn’t light the frigging house on fire.  I’m pretty sure that he’s going to (be allowed to) stay if he dumps her.  I guess I’ll deal with it so long  as I get my frigging kitchen back.  >:[