Jeans and Sneakers

Now that everyone got theirs, I can post about it:

Wedding Invitations

I made these to send out to the few people we’re inviting to our destination wedding, previously an elopement, but now we’re inviting immediate family.  I wanted something different and crafty, I saw someone else had made these on Etsy so I copied her, and voila, the invitations were born.

They came out pretty good too.  Everyone loved them and my mom even thought they came from the hotel where we’re having the wedding.  We invited a total of 14 people, and so far my family and Rob’s parents are definite.  Though there may be some issue with my dad (hopefully not).

I’ve been on a retarded sleep schedule that’s been making everything difficult.  Work is flexible, so that’s good, but it’s also bad, because if I’m the only person awake at 4am working, and I need help with something. . .I’m SOL.  I keep trying to fix it, but recently I haven’t even been fully waking up when I shut off my alarm clock, so it’s kind of hard to force myself to wake up early.

School is going. . .midterms are coming up already.  I still haven’t heard back from fafsa about next semester.  I hope I get more than I got this year.

It’s time for Cinderella too.  I already had to cancel my first rehearsal. . . I think I’m scheduled to go in on Sunday.  This will be interesting.

I bought a wedding dress but it didn’t fit. . .so I sent it back and I’m waiting for an exchange.  I have a feeling though that this other dress they’re going to send me will be sort of cheap.  I might just end up going to Nordstrom and getting a dress they have for a reasonable price.  Who knows.  I have time though, so that’s good at least.

I feel so scatterbrained.  I started a new knitting project just to give me something to look forward to. . . I don’t think it’s actually working out that way, it’s more like I just feel guilty for not giving it more time.  Anyway, it’s a Darkside Cowl, made from the last of my pigeon colored Malabrigo.  I’ll try to take pics if I’m ever awake during good daylight.

I bought a treadmill off Craig’s List!!  I need to get some lubricant for it, and then I can start (hopefully) using it daily.  I want to get more toned and less bleh before the wedding.  MoAr Cardio!  My endurance for anything, including but not limited to climbing a flight of stairs, is ridiculous.  I can hardly get up a flight without getting winded.  And if I *DO* do any physical activity, I’m sore for two to three days afterwards.  This is crazy, I need to fix it.

I must have woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.  It seemed like everything was foul and angry when I woke up.  My wedding dress came in the mail. . .but it didn’t fit, and I didn’t like it as much as I thought I would.  I called my mom to wish her a happy birthday, but I interrupted her and two of my siblings at a financial aid meeting for my brother in the city.  There’s another reason for that to make me angry but I digress.  I was in a yuck mood.

It only got worse throughout the day with some minor incompetence from a coworker, and not being able to decide what I wanted to do about my dress.  Should I exchange it for the original dress I had picked and take another chance at getting the wrong size again?  Ugh.  I started having doubts about certain arrangements I’ve made, based on some attitudes also, and that was more stress.  It culminated while I was talking to Rob about how I had wanted to send out  invitations soon, but I didn’t have everything I needed to make them, but I felt really pressed for time and would like to get them done.  It ended up in a stupid argument.

The good news is that the argument was short lived, and Rob was awesome and took me out to get some things I needed to start taking care of the invitations, and now they’re mostly done.  So things at least ended well.  I’m going to try and wake up at a normal hour tomorrow, but I don’t know if I can do it.  Here’s to trying.  :/

Well 2007 certainly went out on a high note.  Rob closed on the house on Monday, and things have been pretty crazy around here.  We’ve been to the house every day this week so far, and we’re moving in on Saturday.  Going to have to try and pack before then.  I haven’t gotten ANY knitting done.  All of my projects for a while will have to be from my stash, because I’m not going to have any money, lol.

We bought appliances today.  Our kitchen is going to be awesome.  Then we can start cooking again.  I miss having good food.  And eventually I can start packing lunch boxes.  Right now it seems like everything is “eventually”.  There’s still so much to do.

This is the post where I spill the beans.

Last night I had a dream that I was in my grandma’s old apartment, and I was there with my mom and my dad, but I wanted to leave, and for some reason my mom didn’t want me to.  The situation escalated from an argument into a physical fight, and I was frightened for my life, and worried that I would never be able to leave the apartment.  The only way I got away was because I went to punch my mom in the face in defense, and I was wearing my $7 cz ring, and it cut her face.  She went to the bathroom to examine the damage, and while she was in there, I gathered my things and left, all the while yelling at my dad cause he didn’t help me at all the whole time, he just sat there reading the newspaper.

I’m pretty sure that my dream last night had to do with actual events last night.  My mom came over with my brothers to do laundry.  I had a decision to make.  I could either try to censor myself and make sure I didn’t tell my mom what’s been going on in my life recently, or I could just tell her, and watch her get excited for me.  We’re buying a house.  This house:

I was both hesitant and excited to tell her about it.  Part of me knew that she’d react the way she did, but I was hoping that she’d be a little bit more adult, and be happy for her youngest daughter.  Whatever.  I told her, and though the words are pretty much what I expected, ie: “oh, that’s great!  What a great deal!  I’m so happy for you guys!”, it was apparent that she was jealous, bitter, and angry.  She tried to hide it but not very well, and it’s really making me mad.  So much so that I had that awful nightmare about it.

I even tried to tell her the benefits of it for her, how we’ll be that much closer to her, and I told her I’d invite her over and we could hang out and stuff, and she just kind of laughed at the idea.  All I could think of the whole time was the ugly stepsisters and stepmother in Cinderella.  They just couldn’t be happy for her, because all they could do was think about themselves.

I had to put it out of my head.  All I could do was tell myself that it wasn’t my fault she’s in the situation she’s in, and isn’t currently a homeowner herself, or not currently in a relationship with someone that makes her able to buy a house, cause I’m sure as hell not doing this alone, and without Rob and his parents, this wouldn’t even be happening.  But it makes me angry still that she’s acting this way.  I don’t think I’ll give her the address for some time.  That might sound just as childish, but honestly, I just don’t want to deal with her if she’s just going to act that way.  Even Rob picked up on it.  :[

I also had to cancel my voice lessons.  The guy who I was taking lessons from was a total douchebag.  I'm not going to go into all of the details, but they're done.  I'm not going back.

In better news, I learned how to cable.  Pidgeon Forecast is coming along nicely:

I had to rip it back to the end of the collar twice.  The first time I was watching a movie and messed up because I hadn't paid close enough attention, and the second time, I was following directly a cable pattern from a pattern book I have, but it made the cable look bad, and it was upside down from how I wanted it.  So I ripped back again, and figured out how to make the cable look like I want, and now it's going along.  I'm worried I'll stop making progress on it this coming week, because that's when a video game expansion that I pre-ordered comes out, and I know I'll be playing a lot.  I'll have to learn to divide my time so I get to do both.  I wonder if that's even possible.

I've been completely neglecting my jaywalkers.  I'm a little bit bored with the pattern, but hopefully, starting this sweater will reinvigorate my knitting cravings.  It already seems to have, but I'd much rather work on the sweater than the sock.  I'll probably start bringing in the sock to work on at lunch again.  That was working out well.

Work has been good, but my boss has been in India for the past week, so I haven't had to make her tea, or make any for any meetings or anything.  She comes back sometime this week.  Hopefully I can not tweak out too much when she does.

Now that I've spilled the beans about the house, let me elaborate a little.  We're getting it for a great deal, because the lower level isn't going to be completed.  No, it's not a basement.  There is no basement.  The bottom floor, which is completely above ground, will not be completed.  It will need electricity run to outlets and light switches, sheetrock, spackle, trim, flooring, and paint.  Luckily we have a carpenter friend who owes Rob a few favors.  We will be able to set up the bottom floor exactly how we want it, which is nice.  The upper level, the main living area, where all the bedrooms, bathrooms, living room, and kitchen are, will all be completed.  We're going today to pick out the carpet and the linolium for the kitchen floor.  We're waiting for the mortgage to come through, and then we'll go to closing, and we'll be able to move in.  Probably won't happen until January.  I'm excited.  It has a fireplace and a skylight, and two full bathrooms.  I'm going to have to buy appliances and furniture.  Decorate.  What an adventure.  :]

But that’s why I’ve been stressing for the last little while, and that’s why I’ll be broke for the next year or so, if not longer.  At least it’s for a good cause.  It’s got a 2 car garage.  I’ll be able to garage my car in the winter.  :]

I’ve been averaging about 1 resume sent out a day.  I could be less selective, less picky, but I’m not quite so desperate yet.

The day flies by when you’re not loathing every second of it.

I know I’ve written in here about some conversations I have with my mom sometimes.  Mostly I write about them when she pisses me off and we end up hanging up on a bad note.  I hung up on her today and she emailed me saying that she doesn’t appreciate being hung up on, and that if I didn’t want to speak to her, that I should do her the kindness of letting her know.

I’m pretty sure what I wrote back is going to cause some drama.  It was 100% truth though, and that’s what kind of sucks about it.  I don’t know how she’s going to take it, and we’ll probably not talk for awhile.  I wish some people would just open their eyes and see what they are doing, then they wouldn’t get mad at me for telling them what they should have seen all along if they weren’t lying to themselves.  :[

I know I sound pretty righteous, and I’m not trying to come off like that,  I just know from experience that in situations like this, I’m usually right, and then people who came to me for advice, and then went against what I told them, came back later regretting, and telling me that they should’ve listened to me.  How many times do you have to have that happen to you before you can just be like. . .well you should start listening to me then.

*sigh*

I’m going to go try to scare myself now.

So I’ve been taking this spinning wheel class, right?  I figured, well I bought this expensive ass spinning wheel, I might as well learn to use it.   Fine.  Great.

My spinning wheel teacher is an impatient snot.  I’ve come to hate her.  I have two classes left, and I’m seriously considering not even going to them.

What makes her so bad?  Well, I thought the premise of teaching, was to impart knowledge, or skills, or both, upon someone who previously did not have said knowledge  or skills.  This being said, if someone continuously tells you that what you are doing is wrong, her voice getting a little more annoyed every time, and all without telling you or showing you the correct way to do whatever it is you are doing, I do not consider that teaching.  Not even tutoring.  I call it bullying.

And if the student, frustrated from being told only what she is doing wrong and not being shown the correct way, was to get angry and speak a little bit louder telling said teacher that she doesn’t know what is the correct way to do it, the teacher should not sputter about how the student said she wanted to give it a try hands on, and thus, the teacher can not show the student the correct way to do it.

Basically, she spoke to me like a child throwing a tantrum after I got mad at her repeatedly telling me all of the things I was doing wrong, and not showing or telling me how to correct the problem.  How the EFF is that a class?  >:[

She ruined the rest of my day.  I drove all the way out there in my new car, manual transmission ALL BY MYSELF for the first time, with no major issues, and she pissed me off so badly that driving home I made more mistakes than I did the first time I ever got into the car.  What’s worse, I tried to lighten up and go driving with Rob, but I was still making mistakes everywhere and now he thinks (though through no fault of mine) that one of the struts needs a new bearing or something. . .blah, blah, more money to spend to keep the car running.  Yay.

I sent my resume to an ad yesterday, for a graphic design position that sounded interesting.  The ad had some serious humor in it, so I replied in kind with links to my websites (not this one though, shame, cause the design is mine, but I don’t want any future employer having the url of my personal blog. . .) and my attached resume.  They emailed me back today with a homework assignment, to touch up and composite some pictures, and spend no more than 30 mins doing it.  I did it, but I think I did poorly, I haven’t heard back from them today, but we’ll see come Monday or Tuesday if they get back to me.

The other place was a glass blowing studio that said they needed a shop assistant, with no experience necessary, so we’ll see on that one too.

I’ve been working on this doll for the screen printing girl, it’s due on Sunday, and I’m having a rough time of it.  I really have to push myself to work on it, and I’m finding that I’m not even enjoying the process that much.  :/  I hope it passes, it wouldn’t do to try and build a business on something I don’t like doing.  That’s kind of what’s spurring my job applications.

I really want to just have some time with no deadlines for anything.  So I can just relax for a little while.  I want to finish my Honorine sweater, but I haven’t found the time.  Maybe I’ll try out some of the lace again now. . .

And last week was just annoying.

I had another meeting with my boss on Friday, and basically, he’s still not accepting that I don’t want to work for him. Or in any office. He tried to say that he was thinking of me in the long run, that he didn’t want to let me go, and then years down the line when his business is all successful, to have me look back and be like, “*sigh* I could’ve had a great position in that company. . .”

Please. He doesn’t understand that money doesn’t rule me, at least not the way it obviously runs him. I care about how I spend my days. If I didn’t, I woudn’t have a problem with this job.

He basically told me that he wants me to stay, and that he’s willing to work out different scheduling (again), this time mentioning the possibility of leaving early instead of coming in late, or the very slim chance of having a 20 min lunch break in the middle of the day to go home. (which, in 20 mins, I’d have about enough time to come home, unlock the door, look around, lock the door, and drive back to work.) He says he’s willing to work with me to eventually, after we’ve hired more people, get me out of customer service and focused more on design and marketing/advertising.

He apparrently didn’t hear the part when I said that I just don’t want an office job, ultimately.

How can you tell a person “I just don’t want to be doing this with myself” when you say those words, literally, and they just either don’t hear you or choose to ignore what you’re saying?

I still want my car. I only have so much money. The longer I remain at my job, the better my chances of getting my car (and my tooth bridge) (which should be my top priority right now, but isn’t). However, the one thing my boss has made abundantly clear, is that he wants me either for the long haul, or not at all. Though if I leave, there’ll probably be a grace period where he’d have to look for a replacement, and I MAY have to train them. I’m really not sure what’ll happen if I tell him I definitely want to leave, because so far, I’ve been completely unsuccessful at explaining to him that that REALLY IS what I want. Ultimately. Wtf. Over.

In less stressful news, I’m making some progress on Honorine. (And I totally forgot to make a progress meter for her) I’ve got the four panels that make the bulk of the sweater done, and I’ve started on sleeve #1. After this, I’ve got one sleeve, and two Y-shaped lace panels to go. I’ll take pictures when they’re blocking and look all pretty, cause right now they just look like four rolled up pieces of fabric.

Mother’s day is coming up and I’ll have to get back to those socks. And I deposited the check for the woman who bought a doll, as soon as it clears, I’ll be starting production.

No, I’m not talking about years.  I’m getting ahead of myself.  Yesterday I came home knowing full well that Rob wanted to go out to some hardware store type places to look for stuff for his upcoming car painting project.  So I didn’t plan to do anything yesterday.  It’s a good thing too.

The last store we went to was Home Depot, where we also looked for a spigot.  I call it a spigot.  Apparrently they’re called sillcocks.  Whatever.  Point is, our spigot (ha!) has had the lowest water pressure EVER since we moved in to this house.  It’s really annoying to try to wash your car in the driveway, and your hose only reaches to about 3/4 of the way down your car, and when you put your thumb over the end of the hose to try and spray it, the water just stops coming out.

So we had an adventure, Rob moreso that I, trying to fix the broken spigot.  See?

That’s a nice split in the 12″ pipe that’s connected to the spigot.  Rob had to get all different kinds of dirty in the crawlspace under the house to get the old one out, and then again to put the new one in after I brought it back from a second trip to Home Depot.

We had just ordered chinese food when it happened.

This is what a blackout looks like from my desk.  True, you can’t blog during a blackout (unless you have some kind of crazy wireless internet device), but that wasn’t what bothered me.  What did bother me was that last night was probably the hottest night of the year up until today, and the a/c was powerless.

I have so many mosquito bites on my back from sleeping with the windows open.  I guess I’m spoiled now, I find it hard to imagine a time when I didn’t sleep with an air conditioned room.

Here’s birch, in all of her 6 row repeat glory.  I’ve definitely got the pattern down now, it’s just a matter of schlepping through the other 23.9 repeats.  I’ve been lazy since the weekend, and the heat isn’t helping.  Plus, I started those dolls this weekend, and the deadline date is only drawing closer.

I got kind of pissed off today at work.  A customer called asking where his order was because I’d told him that it would go out last week, but it didn’t because one of the guys decided to hold it until the item that was on backorder came in so that he could ship out the whole thing at once.  They’re back and forth on that.  Sometimes they’ll ship out the order without the backorders, and sometimes they’ll hold the order.  Anyway, the guy got pissed off and cancelled his whole order.  So my coworker got pissed at me a little bit because I was the one who told him the order would go out.

And that’s when I got really determined to not be where I am now by this time next year.  For real.  I’m sick of trying my best and taking the blame for other people’s mistakes.  I’m sick of not knowing the answer to a question, and asking one of my “higher-ups” for them only to give me a half assed or no assed answer, and then have it come back on me when the shit hits the fan.  I need to stop slacking off, pay off my debt, and start up a business.  I need to work for myself, so that if I don’t know an answer, I can find one, or make one, and only have myself to blame if things go wrong, and I think that’s fair.

So I’m going to try to start promoting my side project, to see if I can build up traffic on the site, and in the meantime just throw money at my debt until it’s gone.  I figure, hell, I’ve got enough yarn to last me awhile. . .now’s the time to not buy anything and get stuff done.

Can we say NO PROGRESS?  I’ve wasted the past two nights trying to get started on Birch, only to totally rip the thing out and start over, TWICE.  The first time I tried it on my denise interchangeable needles, which I could see fairly quickly, wasn’t going to work.  The fine quality of KSH found every little nook and cranny it could to get stuck in these needles.  It was distracting enough for me to not be able to follow where I was in the pattern.  That was rip back #1.

Then I tried it on my good old hand-me-down aluminum 8 straights.  They’re about 14″ long.  Nowhere on that pattern does it say you have to knit on circulars, so what the heck, I gave it a go.  Might have worked out too, if the points were a little bit sharper to get under those stitches, and if I weren’t so used to working on teeny tiny short needles. . .the long length was so awkward that it was yet another distraction.  This time I got to row 5 I think before messing up beyond the hope of “It’ll get lost in the pattern!” and ripped it back.

I’ve read the comments on Fig and Plum’s posts when she was having troubles starting out on Birch.  (Which, btw, that such a talented knitter also had issues with this, makes me feel immeasurably better) Then the hunt was on.  Since I’ve wasted I don’t even know how much yarn, trying to get this started, (I could rip everything back up until the cast on row.  Then the yarn REFUSED to come out of it’s little knots and loops.  I tried everything, but in the end, just ended up lopping it off.) I had to find a place that had suitable needles, and another ball of KSH in the right color (What’s a dye lot?)  (I’m kidding, I know what they are, but at this point, I couldn’t care less about trying to match dye lots on a lace shawl).

I was getting pretty frustrated, and had stayed up later than I had planned, when I finally found a place that had both.  I ordered another ball, and some Addi Naturas.  I also ordered some Stitch Marker rings, in hopes of helping me keep track of where I am in the pattern.  (That was the hardest part for me, and boy did it come as a surprise!)  And because I’m an addict, I bought a skein of Lorna’s Laces in Charcoal (edit: I just realized that I’d need two skeins to make a pair of socks, and called to add another to the order, and they said it’s going out today, since they’re in Nevada), so two skeins of Lorna’s Laces in Charcoal to finally make Rob a pair of socks.

BTW, I ordered from Jimmy Beans Wool, and I’m linking them, because they are so awesome.

It’s Wednesday.  The roomate is STILL not out yet.  Though Rob tells me that he was here this morning (first time since Sunday) to pick up some more stuff.  I had a convo this morning with Bay about how I should just man up (ha ha) and tell him that if his stuff isn’t gone by Friday, it will be.  I kind of lost my steam after Rob told me that he picked up some stuff today though.  I really hate confrontations (call me chicken) and tend to lean towards “well at least. . .”  :[

Work is ok.  I get so bored during the day even when I have stuff to do sometimes.  It’s not the worst job I’ve ever had, but I still wake up in the morning wishing I could sleep in.  That’s probably not ever going to go away.  :[

So I finally rolled my sleep schedule back around again. I went to bed really early last night, and woke up this morning at 7. So I got up, took a shower, and planned for the day.

I ran some errands, I had to get razors and makeup, and wanted to see if my LYS (local yarn store) had any bamboo DPN’s (double pointed needles) in US size 1. They didn’t. They had a metal set of 4. I didn’t get them. But I did get this.

I like the colorway much better than the sock yarn I have now. It was on sale. (but still pricey for yarn. . .>;[ I’m not used to string being expensive yet.) I asked the clerk behind the counter for the bamboo needles and he actually brought out his ordering catalogue to see if bamboo DPN’s in US 1 even exist. They did, but he didn’t have them in stock, and I didn’t want to buy the ones he had. I felt guilty for bothering him (don’t know why, that’s what he’s friggin there for. . .) and bought the yarn. Plus it’s pretty. And I think I’m going to try the Jaywalker pattern everyone seems so keen on.

But that doesn’t mean I’ve given up on the sock I’ve started!! Oh no! Not at all!! I turned my first heel yesterday. Check it out:

This colorway is totally wonky. Like totally out there and crazy. I think I’d like it a whole lot more if they never put the orange in there. What were they thinking?

Notice how it’s all baggy and semi-shapeless. I’m hoping this’ll improve with blocking. When I put my hand inside and fill it out a bit, it really does look like a sock though, I swear!! A big sock at that. . .I think it might be too big for my foot. But we’ll see when I get to the toe.

For the new sock pattern I also got these:

I needed size 1’s. No place close by had them in bamboo. This seemed like a good deal for $10 at Jo-anns. YAY! As you can plainly see, this is quickly turning into an addiction. :/

And in non-knitting news. . . out of the blue I got a job today. The place that’s really close to my house called, and I start on Tuesday, half days next week to get a feel for the job and so that they can get a feel for me. I think the reason they took so long is because they hired someone else, and it didn’t work out. Oh well. At least I have a job. Hopefully it won’t suck!

I don’t remember if I mentioned it, but Rob’s grandpa died, and we’re going to his wake tonight. The funeral’s tomorrow. :/ Things like this just suck.

Also, as a side note, the landlord stopped by today. He was going to change his insurance on the house I guess, and saw the burnt siding out back. It’s fixed now, but the roomate hadn’t cleaned up the deck from when he replaced the siding, so of course, it was pretty messy back there with bits of burnt siding debris. And also, the kitchen garbage has been rotting for about two days now (that’s just how long it’s been rotting, not how long it’s been sitting there.), so it smells pretty rank. That couldn’t have been plus points with the landlord either. I’m hoping he doesn’t think ill of us now. . .and tell us we have to leave. We’re really close to having the roomate and his stupid gf out. . .and it would be a shame to lose the opportunity to have a nice clean house. :[