Jeans and Sneakers

I met with my boss today, and I’m definitely keeping the job.  He wanted to know what the major things that had to change were, and I told him first thing, the hours are killing me.  Then we talked about everything else, and when we got to the end and I decided I was staying, and we shook hands and I forgot to ask about the hours again.  So when we got back out to our desks, I immed him asking about the hours.  He said I can start coming in at 8:30.  I was hoping for 9, but I’ll take it.  I feel like an ass though, and I’m going to moreso when I come in tomorrow at 8:30.  :[  Oh well.

I’m such a chicken though.  All day I was thinking about how I can get a job at a bookstore part time, and how I could do this and this and that to make more money, and have some free time, and enjoy the weather. . .and then my boss asks to talk and I chicken out and tell him “of course I want to keep the job, it’s a great job to have. . .”

Ugh.  Oh well.  At least I’ll not be broke or whatever.  I really hope that I won’t be miserable all the time.  :[  I’ll try not to be anyway.  I told Rob that now that I’m in it to win it so to speak, I really want to get my 1st gen RX7.  He said to save up like $1500 and we’ll start looking.  I’m probably a big idiot for doing this, but who cares.  I want what I want, and if I can’t quit my job and have less money, then at least I can have a reasonably priced used car that I love.  So there.
I’ve been knitting this sock for my mom and it’s like the neverending ankle cuff.  I’m not amused.  I’m even more not amused that I’m going to have to do this a second time.  It’s taking forever.  I should start thinking up a pattern for my sweater.  I have to look into sweater yoke construction.

I had a really cool idea for socks that I hope to do someday, I just don’t want to say anything about it yet.  And for filler, here’s a sock progress picture, (it’s from Saturday though, and I’m further now):

Haven’t told the boss yet, but I stay, for at least another year.

All through me sitting here repeatedly telling myself that I want to start a business, and I want to do all this stuff, somewhere, deep down, I knew it to not be 100% true.

So I’m thinking, well if that’s not how I really feel, then why the eff am I telling myself that it is?

I figured it out. If you have a job, a place to live, a man, some money, no friends, no real hobbies, and no passionate interests, then wtf are you supposed to do with your time to make yourself feel like your life isn’t a waste?

Start a business. Tell yourself you’ll meet people through your endeavors. Imagine that if you’re the one calling the shots, that there’ll suddenly be purpose to the time you spend living.

I’m not sure if it’s true. Maybe I should keep the job.

Since the notice attempt at work, I’ve had much on my mind.  It didn’t help that when I went to the dentist on Tuesday, he was giving me lessons in home buying and building equity, and telling me that Rob and I should buy a house because renting is throwing your money away.  As if I didn’t already know that.

So the dilemma is this.  I’m at a job that I know how to handle, though I hate doing so, that pays me decent.  I’ve paid off my debt and could survive on much less than I’m making, and try to just live my life and be happy.  Or I could do the smart thing and keep the job, put up and shut up, and save money towards buying a house.  It’s pretty obvious which I should choose.  But there’s still the selfish part of me that is thinking, “ok, so when the eff do I get to actually enjoy my life?”  :/  I don’t even know if I’m capable of resigning myself to just deal with being stuck in a job that I don’t like for an indeterminable amount of time.

So we went to see phantom, and it was awesome.  We had some issues on the way in, we missed the train and had to drive, but once we got going, things went smoothly.  We had dinner at the awesome place, and made it to the show with time to spare.

The guy playing phantom was the same guy who did the voice of Derek from Swan Princess.  Awesome!

The rest of the weekend was slow-ish.  Nothing special at least, we did the dinner thing at rob’s parent’s house, and saw 300. . .which was also awesome.

Then it was weekdays again, and I was all stressed trying to give notice at my job.  I failed for two whole days, and went to the dentist yesterday too.  Yesterday I knew it was getting dire, I had to tell my boss I wasn’t planning on staying, he was trying to give me yet another job duty. . .

So today upon waking up I set my goal. . .to give notice.  I actually tried too, got the boss in a one on one meeting, gave him my O-ficial letter and everything.  Only he was like. . .well. . .can’t this be worked out?

I’m such a sucker,  I thought about how I’m going to need some kind of income, and agreed to think about the possibility of staying if there can be less dumping-of-the-work-on-meena, and possibly not coming in until 9.  We’ll see.  He said he wanted to talk to me again next week after I’ve thought about it.

Does this sound a lot like last year when my last job kept trying to bribe me to stay, to anyone else?  I dunno.

I upgraded my forum to SMF, which is awesome.  And I’m about to make some tasty ass alfredo sauce with Rob for dinn0r.  Payday is this week, and I’m looking to get me some glasses this weekend, maybe.

So they’re done.  The second one is a wee bit shorter than the first, to make sure I had enough yarn to finish it, but if I pull it up hard, they look even.  Lol.

Phantom tomorrow, and no, I didn’t put in notice at my job yet.  I may have a plan.  I was thwarted today from putting it into action because we had to leave early due to poor weather, and I didn’t get a chance to speak to my boss.  We’ll see.

I’m so excited.  Now only if the weather would be what it was two days ago. . .mid 60’s. . .*sigh*  We’re supposed to get snow for the next two days.

I was worried I’d forgotten how to rollerskate, but apparrently, it’s one of those things you just do not forget.  I put them on as soon as I opened them and did laps around my kitchen table.  Isn’t lineolium wonderful?  I wish my kitchen was bigger.

Or it could just be nice outside.  :[

I’ve been seriously contemplating putting in my three weeks notice tomorrow.  I still might, but I’m thinking maybe I should wait until the end of april (2nd paycheck) instead of the first.  Basically, for the first time in my life, I’m scared to quit a job.  I think it’s because I know that I don’t want another “job” and I’m going to have to stop talking and start taking action.  So while I really do not like the job I have, I’m clinging to it because I’m scared of going it alone.

I’m almost done with my applejack jaywalkers.  I should be done tonight, I’ve already started the toe.  I just had to stop because we went out to dinner.

I’m glad the weekend is almost here, I’m looking forward to seeing Phantom again, and I could really use the rest.  I haven’t been getting restful sleep all week.  I don’t know what it’s all about, but I’d like it very much if it stopped.

I’m gonna go finish those socks and get to bed.

Sometimes it just seems like it would take an impossible effort of will to sit down and organize my thoughts. Let’s play with bullets.

• Earlier this week I was at work and convinced that I was going to put in my two weeks on Friday. Not two hours later did my boss call me into a meeting and gave me a raise. I’m still not happy there, and I still want to quit, but the world is a stupid place and I’ll hang on to the job longer now because a) I’ll feel guilty for quitting directly after they gave me a raise, and b) Having more money, especially when you just seriously cut down your monthly bills, is always nice.

• Sweater delivered. And it fits. We went out to dinner last Saturday night, and I met the gf, we had a nice time.

• I’ve had a lot on my mind, but now that I’m here writing, I can’t seem to remember any of it.
• I’ve been breaking out on my face hardcore for a little over a week, and it’s pissing me off. It’s only times like this that I feel really vain and stupid.
• I ordered my rollerskates.
• I got a Sidekick3. That’s what the test post was all about, I now have mobile blogging capabilities, with pictures I think. Rock
• I’ve been escaping after work in episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation, and in the pages of The Dark Tower book 3. They both make fabulous diversions, and so, I haven’t done anything at all towards trying to figure out how I can quit my job and actually make some money somehow, other than vague thoughts of maybe getting a part time job. I haven’t even REALLY looked on Craig’s List.

Hopefully having the sidekick with me will help me to get some thoughts down that I usually just let float away to wherever thoughts go when you forget them.

Yesterday I went to karaoke with my mom again, but the atmosphere was totally different. I was getting a bad vibe from most people, AND I sang like crap. I left early.

I’m almost at the turn of the heel on AJ#2. I’m hoping to have a new pair of socks by Monday.

Next Saturday Rob, Wyn, my mom and I will be going to see Phantom. I’m pretty excited.

Test
–meenuh

Happy March and all. It was 56 degrees (Fahrenheit) when I came home from work today. I guess the groundhog was right?

So the past 48 hrs has been kind of nerve wracking for me. I had this interview for the “costumer” position at a costume rental/sales shop. I was pretty excited about the idea, and the interview went really smoothly. The ladies who interviewed me (the owner, and her assistant, the store manager) were both really cool and laid back. The store itself had a bunch of costumes, both for rent and for sale, and they were GOOD costumes, not just the typical ones you see everywhere. They were concerned because I have a full time position that pays well, and though they understood that I want a more creative line of work, they were worried that they wouldn’t be able to pay me enough for me to say yes. So they offered, before I left, the idea of paying me off the books in a part time position. I’ve never worked off the books. My first thoughts were. . ..well. . .does that mean that I wouldn’t be able to put money into my checking account? Health insurance isn’t a concern for me, since I’m on Rob’s, but I don’t know *how* to work off the books. I’d rather not, but I didn’t make any hasty decisions. When I got home I realized they didn’t tell me how much they were going to offer per hour.

But that was ok, they said they were going to talk amongst themselves, and call me today, which they did. They said they’d leave a voicemail and I could call them back when I got the chance. So all day at work I’m all flustered and dreaming, thinking of the possibility of working either a few hours 5 days a week, or all day for just a few days, and never having to wake up before 9 am. Nothing at work really bothered me, not even the online class I sat through last night at home really bothered me, for all it was boring. I thought I might finally be doing something fun, and having time to start something up, and not be all tired or down from work when I got home.

Well, I got home and called, and found out what they were offering and how many hours. Turns out it’s not enough. The work they described, while being part time, would still be hard work. Harder work than some of the other jobs I’ve had that weren’t office jobs. There would be physical work, running up and down the stairs while pulling costumes for high school casts or other productions, standing and bending while taking measurements, not to mention the anything goes atmosphere in their busy seasons, which were now, Easter, Christmas, and of course, Halloween. But basically you’d be on your feet, lifting, or doing something physical the entire time. And they said that there’s no set lunch breaks, and you just kind of sit and eat when you get the chance. I’ve heard that before. So for what they were offering, even part time and off the books, I don’t think they’re offering enough. I told them I’d think about it and call them tomorrow. It’s sad, they seemed really excited about hiring me. Oh well. Life goes on.

In other news, it’s Friday. My mom and I might go out for karaoke later. My dad is probably coming out tomorrow to go to dinner (I get to meet his new gf) and to get his sweater. I’ll take pics.

Next weekend is payday, and I’ll likely be getting myself a Sidekick3. My phone is dying, I’m under no contract with Sprint, my current cell phone company, and I need something new.

I’ve been working on AJ Jaywalker #2 off and on. I’ll probably do some more tonight, but I’m still not even up to the heel. A friend of mine in Cali wants a funky scarf, so I gave him my addy and a yarn website and told him to order some up. We’ll see what he picks. Scarves are way easy. Mindless for what he wants.

And last but not least. . . the next dvd’s Netflix will be sending out are the first season of StarTrek: The Next Generation, so knitting, here I come, because I’ll watch those episodes back to back and I’ve seen them enough to be able to knit at the same time. Woo Hoo!!!