Jeans and Sneakers

So I was just looking back. . .I bid on a camcorder on ebay, to repair or just replace the one I’ve got. I got outbid on it today, and I was thinking about the whole reason I wanted my camcorder back to begin with. . .I’ve got tapes that I recorded when I was living upstate that I’d like to watch.

But looking back, there’s some things on those tapes, while they would be fun for watching the retardation, I don’t necessarily want to relive or think about. Nothing I regret, and it’s hard to explain it really, I just tried talking about it to Rob.

I’ve definitely moved on from where I was then. I look back, and while I can remember how I felt and why I did the things I did, I know that presented with a similar situation now, I definitely would not respond in the same ways. I wouldn’t fall for the people I fell for, make the decisions I made, put myself in positions I put myself in. I’m a slightly different person now than I was then. And while in some ways the difference *is* slight, in other ways, it’s huge. At the same time, in other ways, I haven’t changed at all.

I was remembering, and some of it feels like it happened to someone else, and I was told the story later, and just imagined it happening. Or like I read it in a book or saw it in a movie somewhere. It’s weird to look back on your own memories and feel so disconnected from them. Suddenly remembering something that happened to you and feeling like “oh yeah! I totally forgot about that” and “did that REALLY happen to me?!” at the same time.

I wonder if in 5-6 years I’ll look back at now with the same detachment. In some small way, I almost miss relating, miss feeling those feelings that seemed so much a part of me then. Something about the detachment from my own life experiences seems kind of horrid. I guess that’s the real meaning of moving on with your life. But are you supposed to look back on it then?

The cambridge jacket is done.  I’ll post pics when I actually get some of my dad wearing it.

Friday was my mom’s bday.  She had said she might want to go to this place she knew of for karaoke, but Thursday she fell on the ice in the parking lot of her job and hurt her back, so she wasn’t sure if she wanted to go.  We ended up going anyway, (she was supposed to go to the doctor today to check on her back, haven’t heard from her yet) and we had a great time.  I might go there again sometime, it was friendly.

Saturday I went on an adventure, all around, but the main thing I wanted to do was to check out this glass studio near my house.  There was a sign in the window saying stained glass classes forming.  I went there and met the guy who owns the studio.  He was cool and gave me some info on the classes.  I’ll probably end up taking them.

After I went there I drove around a little, but didn’t really do much else other than get Warioware for us, and Zelda for Rob’s dad.   Warioware is mad fun.

I picked up the sweater a couple of times over the course of the weekend.  I managed to get one sleeve completely on and the whole side sewn up, but it looks ridiculous, since I wasn’t getting gauge on the sleeve at all.  I’ve decided to take the sleeve out again, and sew it back in where the dimensions should be, where it’ll look nice, and see if I can cut off the excess like a steek.  Or at least just sew it back like a folded seam.  Or some combination of the two.  The thought of attempting it has me kind of nervous though, so to relax I cast on for Jaywalker #2.  Lol.  I pretty much just knitted on that here and there today.

Friday the replacement board for our tv came, so it’s been working all weekend.  It’s been so nice to have it back, and to be able to let Turbo out again and not have to worry about him getting into the open tv.

Watched a bunch of movies, and all around had a really nice weekend.  Tomorrow is going to be busy, what with the three day weekend and all.  I tried looking on craig’s list for a different job, but I forget, once I’ve had a job for awhile, I always forget, that every job available is like the one I have, or worse. . .it’s the whole reason for me wanting to work for myself, I can’t find a job that I’d actually enjoy.  It’s kind of discouraging knowing that I’m going to have to stay at this job until I can save up some cash to try going it alone, or to just quit and hope for the best.  That’s probably the worst thing I could do, but you know what, it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve done it, and I’ve always come out alright in the end.  And I didn’t even have Rob before.  He’s my unyielding cheerleader.  :] I’m so lucky to have him.

I’m running late for bed already, and I’ve still got to shower. . . .ugh, I hate the workday schedule.  :[

I’m so proud of Rob. He didn’t give in to the consumerism this year, and instead of getting me flowers that I keep asking him to not get me, he made me dinner. It was so sweet, he had it ready for me when I got home. Yay!

I’ve been a total slouch, and haven’t done any work on the sweater. Did I post about how the sleeves are way bigger than the sleeve holes somehow? I don’t think I did. Well, they are. I’m going to have to try and figure out a way to connect them and make them not look all poufy and girly. Since it’s for my dad. Oof.

Today is also 3&6 for me and Rob, which is great. It’s so cool that we’re still all into eachother and stuff and it’s been that long. My mind boggles at the thought. (Only because of every previous relationship. I guess 3&6 isn’t long enough to make someone staying me the “normal” thing. . .)

I’m still sick of work. Three day weekend this weekend, and I think that I’ll try and get down to the glass studio I found near my house. They had a sign that said they were taking people for classes. That would be cool, and it’s close, so. . .

Yeah.

Tomorrow is my mom’s bday, and that’s cool. She’s the big 50 and super excited about it. She’s going to call me tomorrow to see if she wants to do anything. I want to make her a red hat.

I read book 1 of the Dark Tower series. Again. I’d be reading book two right now, except for that my dad has it. Another reason to finish the sweater. . .so I can get him out here and get my book back!!!

Feeling pretty lazy otherwise. :/

Edit:  Oh, I did write about how the sleeves don’t fit.  Well, I still haven’t done anything with them. :[

I don’t know wtf I was thinking.  I know I hate seaming shoulders.  I’m no good at it.  Especially when the @%#$@^ pattern makes the sleeves way bigger than the sleeve holes. . .maybe my gauge was off. . .but damn.  I am definitely not feeling sewing the sweater together today.  I started it, and got most of one sleeve attached, though half of it I’m going to have to redo anyway, since I started getting frustrated (and my eyes started hurting), and it looks like total poo.

I remembered what I was going to write about yesterday.  I attempted spinning again, and I got it to work!!!  Only a little bit, but it worked, my singles weren’t as thick as twizzlers, and I know I can do it again.  *whew*

Work was frustrating today, and so was trying to sew up that sweater.  I think I’m just going to take a bath instead tonight.  No use rushing it, it’s already way late.

First off let me show you:

It’s blocking.  Tomorrow I will sew together, and try to start the collar.  I dunno if I’ll be able to do it all in one night, and plus, I’ve got to sew in the zipper once it’s all sewn together.  Weave in ends, blah blah.

There’s a pic of the sleeves too, but it’s so uninteresting.  If you care that much, the pic is #54 instead of 53, so you can just view properties, copy/paste, and change the 3 to 4.

I didn’t think I had any plans this weekend other than trying to finish this sweater, but we ended up going to the city yesterday, because Rob had to do some work.  We went to Gyu-kaku afterwards.  It took forever to get to dinner, between parking, and Rob’s work not being cooperative, but we made it.  And we went to the east village one this time.  I definitely liked it better.  It wasn’t as stuffy and pomp.

Today pretty much was knitting.  It seemed like it took FOREVER to get the sleeve done.  And then I took a break when we went to dinner.  But when I came back, it was right back to knitting.  At least it’s done.  By this time next weekend, I’ll probably have cast on the second Jaywalker applejack sock.  Finally!

Some other things going on too. . .March 17th Wyn, my mom, Rob and I will be going to see Phantom in the city, so that’s pretty cool.  Definitely something to look forward to.   There’s another videogameday coming up on the 24th, my mom’s bday is this coming friday, the big five-oh.  Of course, Wednesday is national buy your significant other overpriced chocolate and flowers day, and Thursday is 3&6 for me & Rob.

I had something else I was going to mention, and I totally forgot what it was.  >:[

The part to fix the TV is on it’s way.  Should be here on Tues, so that’s good.  If I remember what it was I was going to write, I’ll edit it in later. . .

I’m pretty pissed right now. I was soooooo excited to be able to pay off my debt tomorrow. I’ve been frugal for the past month now, and it was finally going to pay off. Yep, Friday, February 9th was going to be THE DAY THE DEBT WAS GONE. Well guess what? Stupid maths fucked up my plans.

Somehow, I managed to figure out on a calculator, that the money I have in the bank right now plus the money I’ll be getting in my paycheck tomorrow would equal enough to pay my debt, my car insurance renewal, and my cell phone bill, and still have like $200 left over. I did this calculation 3 times with no discrepancies. I was super stoked! I was so excited, I went right ahead and put through that car insurance renewal on my bank card. Guess what maths?!?! YOU WERE WRONG!!! I went to check my bank balance, because some transactions come out right away, and noticed. . .hmm, there was a lot less left over than I’d thought there’d be. . . So I went back, redid the calculations, three times, and yeah. Now I won’t be able to pay off my debt for another TWO WEEKS, because I’ll have JUST ENOUGH to pay off the debt, with none left over for other stuff, like gas to get to and from work until I get paid again, or that dentist’s appt I have next Tuesday. Yay. So yeah maths, you can take a hike, thanks for ruining my plan. :[

In other news, my job is stupid. My boss must really not appreciate how much work I’m doing. He keeps pushing off the work he doesn’t want to do onto me, as if I were sitting around doing nothing. Does he realize I’m his only full time customer service person for a company he’s marketing like mad? Does he realize it’s effing cold outside now and people are mad for heating supplies? Does he realize that all of these people making and changing their orders, whether he sees it or not, directly increases the amount of work I have to do before he decides he doesn’t want to do something and hands it off to me? I think I might have to have a little meeting with him. But most likely, I’ll just chicken out and take the abuse. Why? Because I’ve called in sick a good amount of times, and he’ll probably argue that if I were in the office more often, that I’d be able to get all of my work done. (which btw, is total bullshit. I’ve come in to the office steadily for months without taking a day off, and still had too much to do. the calling in sick is likely a direct effect of being overworked, frustrated, and worried.) And if that weren’t frustrating enough, I’m actually sick right now, have been since last Tuesday, and while last Friday my boss thanked me and thanked me for coming in while being so obviously ill, this week I took two days off because I wasn’t getting any better. When I came back, they wern’t mad, because it was apparrent that I really am sick, but now they’re showing signs of sickness, and I detect a hint of resentment for me getting them sick. Well, you can either be mad that I’m out sick, or you can be mad that I’m working but made you sick, but you can’t ask me to come in when I’m sick, and then be mad if you catch my cold. Bugger off.

/rant

So I’ve finished most of the first sleeve for cambridge. I should be done this weekend. dun dun DUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! We’ll see though, I might be unfathomably lazy.

And now I leave you with a gem from me sleeping:

(apparrently I talk in my sleep. Rob tries to urge it on when it happens, and then emails me the conversations we’ve had in my sleep. Not always coherent, but almost always amusing.)

Me: ‘it doesnt feel like im moving right now but i am’
Rob: “what?”
Me: ‘it doesnt feel like im moving right now but i am’
Rob: “but youre not moving”
Me: ‘but i am’

Yesterday I rested. All day, pretty much. And felt the worse for it. The cold moved back down to my throat, but this time with a nasty cough that couldn’t quite seem to reach the mucous it was trying to dispel. Fun. This morning I’m feeling a tiny bit better, still congested, still coughing, but at least some of it is starting to come out.

I just made myself scrambled eggs with the equivalent of four cloves of chopped garlic. . .maybe more. My dad believes that garlic goes a long way towards helping you get better when you’re sick. I don’t know if that’s true, but at this point, I’m willing to try almost anything (including a tasty garlic omlette) to try and get better already. Also, here’s a weird little thing. . .growing up I’ve always scrambled my eggs with a little bit of milk, because my mom told me that it makes them fluffier. I’d heard somewhere along the lines that that’s a myth, that poor people put milk in their scrambled eggs to make them go farther. That’s possible, even if my mom didn’t know that’s why she did it, some of these things go back generations. Anyway, today, I was trying to lay off the dairy products, since I believe that having milk/cheese when you’re all sick in the nose/throat makes the mucous worse. I left out the milk. My eggs were the fluffiest they’ve ever been!! But here’s the thing. . .I don’t know if it’s because I left out the milk, or if it was because for the first time ever, I was cooking my eggs in butter instead of margerine. (Dairy. I know, but I didn’t have any margerine. I usually only use margerine, but we decided to try butter this time.) Either way, Garlic eggs with oregano are tasty. :]

The good news is, yesterday while trying to not go out and/or spend money, I watched movies on my computer (like back in the day!) and knitted a little bit more of cambridge. The body is now done, and I’m about a third of the way through sleeve #1. I want to say that I’ll be working on/finishing the first sleeve today, but I know myself, and I think it’s more likely that I’ll be playing Oblivion today rather than knitting. I already cleaned the kitchen (I found out that the dishwasher gets EVERYTHING off of plates/flatware/bowls/pots & pans, if you use the pots & pans setting. Der. But hey, I never had a dishwasher that worked until this house, how was I supposed to know?), and am doing laundry. I think a little video gaming is in order.

I got my tax returns on Friday, and as of this coming Friday, the 9th, I’ll be free of my college debt. That’s so crazy to think about, and I’ll pretty much be broke until March, since I also have to renew my car insurance, but who cares? I’ll be debt free!! Wooooooooooooo!

I took Tuesday off because my throat hurt and I didn’t feel well.  If I had known that despite all of the sleep I got on Tuesday, that my cold would be worse on Wednesday, Thursday, and worse still today, I would have saved the day for later on in the week.  Right now, I have a glass-thermometer-certified fever.  A small one, but still.  I feel unwell.

I’ve only got three sick days and five vacation days for the year.  So I didn’t want to take another day off right away. . .if I stay here through out the year, I’ll be miserable come October.

My boss started me in on some “design” work again, and I only put it in parentheses because it’s silly stuff, like making a coupon.  This morning we had a group meeting, followed by individual meetings, and he told me that he’d like to get me doing more design stuff, (I’m guessing since he fired his hired nyu-graduate design guy) and that he was thinking about sending me to some Photoshop and Illustrator classes to improve my skills.  During the work day.  Paid.  I said I’d have no problem with that.  FIELD TRIPS!!!!

Since I’ve been sick, I’ve done nothing while at home other than read and be miserable.  The TV is still broken because apparrently Samsung tech support sucks, and they don’t know how to program different light codes for different failures.  Lame.  I miss playing Zelda.

I should be knitting the sweater.  You know the one.  The one I planned on giving my dad for his birthday. . . . in August.  :[  My excuse now is that I can’t make any real progress knitting since I have to keep blowing my nose every 5 mins or so.

**Sips her orange juice**

I keep giggling, I think I’m slightly delirious, I find everything funny.  At least I’m having a good time.