I’ve been a horrible blogger
Truth is, I just haven’t felt much like writing.
I haven’t gotten much knitting done. I tried to make a little clutch type bag, but I’m stuck at this one part, and it might just be enough discouragement to suck and make me put off finishing it indefinitely. I’ll try to convince myself to try anyway.
I’ve been pretty bummed out thinking about monies and my job and 2007 being here and now, and March only a little way away. I woke up this morning knowing I had to go in to work and doubting that I could ever make a business for myself. WTF kind of way to wake up is that?
Over the weekend (which was fun btw, more later) I was talking to Rob about how I think part of my want to buy a 1st Gen RX-7 after I pay off my debt is maybe that I’m scared to actually try to do this business thing. That maybe I feel that I’m not ready to do it, and I’m buying myself more time by getting something that I know will need a steady cash flow to make it what I want it to be.
Well. Today I’m looking at it like this. When I was in HS, I joined the track team because I had a crush on this kid. While I was actually at practice, and at the meets and stuff, I hated it. Every day I thought about how it wasn’t worth it to beat myself up like that because of some stupid boy, and how I should quit. When I came home and wasn’t actually at practice, I was like, ‘well it’s not really that bad. . .’ Ultimately at practice one day I had enough, and I told the coach I was done, and I left. And that was it. But now it’s like working for someone else is the same situation. While I’m there, or right before I have to be there, I hate it, and I think about how stupid it is that I’m doing these functions for other people when I could be doing them for myself, and when I come home or on the weekend when I’m not there, I think, ‘well I could probably tolerate it for another 6 months to a year. . .’
. . .I don’t want to be here in 6 months to a year from now. I don’t want to have wasted another year of my life being frustrated and uncomfortable 9 hours a day, 5 days a week.
I need to kick my ass in gear, and seriously sit down and think about what I can do. I have two parts of a business I want to create, and I need to get started.
Rob and I tried to have a Do-Nothing-Weekend, but it didn’t happen. Saturday threw us a gorgeous day and I didn’t want to stay inside. We went looking for wine (and found some!), and then Rob did some car work on both of our cars while I did some cleaning and took down the tree. Then out of nowhere, Bay wanted to come over, and we had some errands to run. Sunday we did stay home for the most part, other than dinner at his parent’s. I bought Super Swing Golf for my Wii!! My mom gave me a gift card for xmas, and I used it for that. I haven’t played it yet, but I’m pretty excited to.
I have no idea what to make for dinner tonight. Friday night I tried to make curry and was disappointed. Oh well, I’ll end up making something.