Jeans and Sneakers

I had a great xmas.  Rob liked his presents, and he spoiled me rotten.  (This is the part where I revert back to my 5th grade self and tell you what I got)  I got a LED belt buckle, the Joy of Cooking cookbook, Lisey’s Story (the new-ish SK novel), a new paper diary cause mine’s almost out of paper, oh yeah. . .and a Wii!!  He got me Zelda, Trauma Center, and Red Steel.  SupAr excited.  Zelda and Wii Sports are so much fun.  I haven’t tried the other two yet.

I also got some cool stuff from Rob’s family, a nice leather jacket and gloves from his parents, and a nice sweater from his great aunt.  And a buttload of chocolate from his other aunt.

Rob’s mom loved Sheldon, so that made me happy.

I was a little bit stressed yesterday and this morning, because I called in to work yesterday. . .after having spoken to my boss about how I call in too much.  I was pretty sure from the way he sounded on the phone that morning that I was going to get fired. . .but it seems he was just stressed out about firing one of the other kids who was working there.  Everything is cool in work land, I just have to get my shit together and stick it out until my teeth are fixed, my debt is gone, and I’ve saved up some cash.

Today at work wasn’t even that bad.

I’m off to make dinner, and then who knows what.  This weekend is another 3 day-er, and I’m hoping to really make some progress on my dad’s sweater (so I can go back to making socks!), and hopefully I can make some cool stuff to sell on my etsy shop.  (Oh yeah, I opened an etsy shop, but I only have one item in there.)

Woo!

I ended up buying my sister something, because the present I was going to give her just wasn’t working out.  But I did get Sheldon done!!!

The pattern tells you to make sure you stuff it enough, so that I thought I understuffed him, and actually opened him up again to put some more stuffing inside.  It turns out, now I overstuffed him, but I love him anyway.  Hopefully Rob’s mom will love him too.

He’s cuet, and taught me a few new stitches, but I don’t think I’ll ever knit him again.  Knit Picks Shine Sport is a beautiful, soft, shiny yarn, but when you handle it too much, it kind of fuzzes all over you.  Despite this fact, I’m thinking about knittng a pair of gloves out of it, just because knitted up it feels so nice on your hands.

It tends to split if you’re trying to do some funky stitches with it though.

Getting Sheldon done made me start thinking about finishing these projects, and what to knit next!!  I know, I might be jumping the gun here, just because I’ve still got a sweater on the needles, and one sock done waiting for it’s mate. . .(I haven’t forgotten you applejack jaywalker!!  I swear!)  But I can’t resist thinking of ideas for my rhinebeck yarn.  It’s going to be something for me, and I want it to be fabulous.

That lead me to looking for pretty stitch patterns.  I had no idea there were so many.  The search lead me to add 3 stitch pattern books to my amazon.com wishlist.  And a pattern book that is all patterns of lingerie!!  I  also found some free stitch patterns on the intArweb, which have inspired me for some xmas gifts next year.  Funny thing is, I’ve got stuff to knit now (ie: aforementioned sweater), but I want to start something NEW.

I guess that’s how knitters do though.  I read all the time about knitters feeling the same way.  At least I’m not alone.

I baked bread today!  It actually came out tasty too.  It’s just plain old white bread, simplest of simple recipes from that bread book I bought a little while back.  I was worried that it wouldn’t come out ok, because the recipe I used called for “one packet of yeast”, but in the intro of the book, it said that all of the recipes in the book use fresh yeast, or something like that, then they said if you’re using active dry (which I was) to use less.  But how am I going to save like 10 pieces of yeast and use the rest of a packet?  That’s retarded.  Also, they didn’t make it clear if you were just supposed to mix the yeast in with everything, or “activate” it first, so when I followed the directions to the letter, “mix all ingredients, making sure to not put the yeast on top of the salt.” I was ignoring the directions on the back of the yeast packet that says if you’re mixing the yeast in with other dry ingredients directly, to make your liquids bet. 120 and 180 degrees.  Or something.  Point being, I mixed the dough, and nothing happened.  It didn’t rise.  So then I read the yeast packet, and it said you can mix it all together and put the bowl with the dough in it, in a sinkful of hot water.  Which ended up working to make my bread rise.  I’m glad it came out good.  I’ll have to try all the other good looking breads now!!!

Tomorrow’s Xmas day, and I’m a wee bit bummed about it.  I usually get a kick out of the holiday by giving awesome gifts to people I care about, and this year, the awesome gifts just weren’t really forthcoming.  I couldn’t think of anything good.  I had gift-givers block or something.  So yesterday Rob and I put out our presents under the tree, and he’s got all these little packages for me, and I’ve got two for him.  One of which he already sort of knows about.  :/  It’s got me feeling down that I’m not going to make him or anyone super happy this year.   Oh well.  I tried.

Hopefully tomorrow will be awesome, and I won’t mind too much going back to work on Tuesday, but that’s wishing for a lot.  Happy holidays to anyone reading this, hope you and yours have a wonderful xmas.  :]  (or whatever that you celebrate.  :]  )

I was late for work and ended up helping to make a mistake, enough so that my boss called me in the conference room for a talk.  It really pissed me off, not that I was getting spoken to about being late, that was my own damned fault and I took responsibility for it.  But the mistake. . .I had asked him to check on before it was made, and he checked it and said it was ok, but then felt the need to speak to me about it, as if I should take total responsibility for it anyway.

I was fine until he asked me if I was ok. . .that’s when I started to lose it and had to get up and exit the room.  I considered giving in my notice right then and there, telling them I’m not the office girl they’re looking for **waves her hand like a Jedi Master**, but I would like to (and at this point, it’s really not need to, I set back my next payment due date until 2011 by paying what I have already) pay off my debt.  Just get it gone.  Clean slate and all of that.  But I know it’s going to take me until March at least to pay it off.  And I’m miserable about having to stay there that long.  It’s not like it’s some horrible place like my last job.  It’s just that I’ve finally accepted that I don’t want to work in an office.  And now that I know, having to do it anyway really sucks.

So tonight when I came home I was pretty bummed out.  Rob was great and cleaned up the kitchen and made us dinner.  Afterwards, my night looked like this:

Well, this and a bunch of XFiles episodes.  Yes, that’s an empty bottle of wine.  Yes, I emptied it pretty much by myself.

I had a different bottle opened first, but I didn’t like it, so Rob drank half of that one, and I drank this one.  This one had a really low alcohol content though, and tasted like cider.  I’m hardly buzzed, but it was tasty.

It’s not as good as the Marco Negri, but whatever.

So last night I finished Sheldon’s legs, and tonight I did the back of his shell.  Two more pieces, some stuffing and I’m done!!  Please excuse the horrible coloring of these photos, it’s about 10pm, and I took these pics like 10 mins ago.

I’m pretty excited to have another FO coming up, I can’t wait to see how he comes out.  And immediately after that, I have to work on my sister’s present.

And after that, I’ll have to work on my dad’s sweater, which I’ve made absolutely no progress on in far too long.  GRR.

I’ll get back to it soon.  I hope.

I managed to find some this weekend. I got our tree. Rob helped me decorate it this year. :]

I also managed to get some xmas shopping done. I got some books for my brothers, and something for Rob that I was going to get online, but figured in the store there’s no shipping charge.

I had to tell him about the thermals I’m getting him, because he kept asking me to get him some when I was out shopping, and I had to tell him I wasn’t ignoring his request, it’s just that I bought some and they’re already on the way.

We were going to stand in line at Target early this morning to get a Wii, but we drove by before midnight, and there was already a line of people standing there. The store doesn’t open until 8 am. We weren’t about to stand in line outside of target for over 8 hours. Not to mention all of the places only had average 12 units each, so we’d probably be SOL anyway.

I’ve been stricken with an affinity for a particular wine.

My mom brought some to thanksgiving dinner, and ever since, I’ve been craving more. I went to four different liquor stores this weekend, the last one being the place my mom bought the bottle from, and they only had 375ml bottles. I bought two of them to share with Rob.

I was telling him, that I think the reason why I’m so suddenly obsessed with this wine, is because I’m so surprised. When I was little, I always imagined wine would be this wonderful adult drink that tasted like every sweet good thing a little kid could dream of. When I ultimately had my first glass of wine, it was bitter, acrid, horrible rotting tasting stuff. (I know wine IS fermented grapes, but c’mon. If it tastes like grapes that went bad and have been sitting in your garbage pail for a month, I don’t see the attraction.)

So when I tried this, I was so incredibly surprised, all I can do is want more. I’ve found some places that have it in stock on the internet, but I find it really annoying that I can’t find it any place locally. Oh well. It’s inspired me to try other wines, and to want these:

Even Rob liked these, and he had originally laughed when I told him I was thinking about getting some wine glasses.

Since I’m getting closer and closer to paying off my debt, I’m thinking about having a period of time where I’m just a little bit retarded with my money. Because for so long I’ve had to sacrifice things that I’ve wanted, or wanted to do, because my money was all going to pay my bills and debt. So now, I’m thinking about taking Rob to see Phantom of the Opera, and taking him to a nice dinner before hand. I’ll finally be able to go to a REAL opera at the MET again, and that’ll be nice. It’ll feel so good to be able to guiltlessly spend some money, either on myself or someone else. :]

Oh yeah, and also. . .I’ve gotten this far on Sheldon:

I’ve started the first of his legs. I don’t think I should have any problems finishing him by next Monday. It’s all of the other presents I’m worried about. I don’t think I’ll get to my sister’s present, and the sweater. . . .will not be done in time. I’m pretty sure of that.

It feels like so much has happened and at the same time, as I sit here and think about what to blog, I’m having a hard time coming up with anything remotely interesting.

I ordered some yarn from KnitPicks finally, since Knitty came out with their winter edition, I saw Sheldon, and knew immediately that he must belong to Rob’s mom. I also bought some other yarn to make something for myself and something else for my sister for xmas. Sheldon is almost almost done. I’ve got most of his body and head knitted.

I have pretty much failed at xmas shopping this year. I didn’t get anything at the fair(s), and the only person I keep finding good stuff for is Rob’s mom. I haven’t gotten anything for any of my family members, other than my dad’s sweater (which probably won’t be done on time), and my sister’s present. Even for Rob, I had a hard time picking stuff out, and the stuff I picked is few and practical, but nothing like “WOW, thanks honey!” I’m pretty disappointed in myself. :[

I had my yearly review at work this week, and my boss definitely made sure to mention that I've been out "a lot". The way I look at it, it doesn't seem like that much, it's not as bad as it was at my last job, and I'm definitely there doing stuff more than I'm not. But I can definitely see how my work ethic is way different from theirs. He also made sure to bring up the questions I didn't answer on my little review worksheet, like what I thought he could be doing better, and what could make me work harder.

I told him about how badly the site is affecting the business, and about how many of the problems with the site are what're making me overloaded at work. Many of the things I have to do are tasks that the site should be doing automatically. He said that my feedback on the site was good, but he didn't think that they were really going to do anything about it. I got a bonus.

He also made sure to ask me what my plans for the coming years are. I remained vague, but tried to tell the truth. I told him that plumbing will not be my life, and that ultimately I'd like to work for myself doing something more creative. He said that was fair, but I think he still thinks/hopes I'll be around for 3-4 years.

That made me think about my plans for paying off my debt and quitting. It's a pretty big struggle in my head, I know that I could save up a good chunk of cash if I stayed longer, but at the same time, I know that every day I'm going to hate myself, having to wake up early, go to bed early, and come home frustrated. I still haven't totally paid off my debt, so I guess I'll just keep my eye on that goal and see what happens when I've accomplished that much.

We had a company dinner last night and my boss said I could bring Rob and I did. It was awkward. Not because Rob was there, but because my coworkers are. . .so different. . .than everyone else I've ever met, ever. I didn't know there were people out there like the people I work with.  I wonder if that makes me as naive as them.

At dinner my boss made a toast saying that he felt really lucky that everyone he's hired has been "as good or better than everyone else he hired" (which is kind of fucked up when you think about it), and he said he hoped that everyone there would continue working for him for a long time.  I couldn't help but feel that the comment was directed at me.  Also, last night before everyone showed up, he mentioned coming in later than the usual time today, but he forgot to mention it to everyone once we were all there.

So this morning I called and asked about coming in later, and he said I could come in 30 mins later than usual.  I did, but felt like an ass when I came in, since everyone else was there and working already.  It's obvious that my job is the least important thing in my life right now.

Today is 3and4 for me and Rob, and he's going to steal me later and watch Xfiles.  We might go try to find this wine that my mom brought to thanksgiving dinner.  Plans for this weekend include:

• Possibly making some last minute xmas present StatYous for a friend
• Possibly but not probably going to a dinner that a friend from high school coordinated, but is not paying for, ($35 each not including drinks or dessert, I honestly don't think I'll make it. . .I didn't even pick the place, $35 per person is steep for me!)
• Staying up all night Saturday to wait in line at Target Sunday morning to buy Wiis for me and Rob's dad
• Knitting the rest of this turtle and trying to get more of the sweater done

Other than that, my only plan is to sleep in tomorrow.  Pretty sad.  Maybe I'll make some corned beef hash and eggs in a basket.  :]

but here it is the end of Thursday, and I’m just getting to it.

Going to the city was nice, good food, good company, but the fair was disappointing.  I didn’t buy anything.

Actually, I pretty much fail at xmas shopping this year.  Even for Rob, the presents I’m getting are sub-par.  And for some people, I have no presents at all.  :[

Here’s some pictures.

I got a new fuzzy hat.

I know cause I just tried.  Actually I just wanted to see if my theory about my best thinking being done in the shower held water.  (lol. . . ok I know, corny.  Sorry.  :[  )

Lately all I’ve really been doing is avoiding knitting the rest of my dad’s sweater (committment problems much?) and worrying about how I don’t want to be working where I’m working and how I’m pretty much going to quit with no real plan of how I’m going to start my business after I pay off my debt.

Maybe I’ll have some good blog fodder after Saturday, as we’re going into the city to the Holiday Craft Fair thingies.

Try back later.

That’s a good thing, because I hate having bad ones. Last night I had a dream that I was younger, maybe between 14 and 16. I was still living at home, but I knew some kids that I actually don’t know in real life. We were trying to save the world somehow, and I went with this one kid to this girls house who I didn’t like, but we needed her help because she had just gotten her drivers license and a car. The car was a HUGE BOAT of a thing, like a 60’s Thunderbird or something. It had been white once, but had rusted in speckles all over the body of the car so as to make it look gold from far away. The girl was small, pale, with bright red hair with unruly thick waves. She had freckles, and was terrified of driving that car.

I don’t remember what happened next, and where my memory picks up, I was in my grandmothers house, only it wasn’t really my grandmothers house. My dad and all of my uncles on his side of the family were there trying to “protect me”. I had to go somewhere with the kid from the first part of the dream, the next part of the journey to save the world, but my dad didn’t want to let me go with him, because he was being exactly like I was when I was that age, extremely overprotective. He could see that I had feelings for the kid, and didn’t want me to do anything with him. His brothers (my uncles) were all helping him prevent me from doing what had to be done.

I don’t remember how we did it, but somewhere after me pretending to be deathly ill, and failing to meet up with said kid in my grandmother’s house (which is a 3 story brownstone in brooklyn, so it’s pretty big and not so easy to navagate with 6 or 7 grownups trying to prevent you,) we had convinced my dad to help us, and he was driving us where we had to go. We were bursting with love and although the kid was sitting in the back, and me in the passenger seat, we couldn’t help but hold hands and try to hide it from my dad. He saw it anyway, but knew he couldn’t stop it.

The whole dream kind of made me feel like I was playing out the part of Lyra, the girl in “His Dark Materials”. Except, the story line I went through didn’t correspond at all with what they did in the books. Anyway, it was an exciting and adventurous dream, and I was sad to wake up. Kind of like reading a really good book, and then finishing it.

I told myself I was going to knit all weekend, and make some headway on my dad’s sweater. The main problem with me and getting things done is that once something I enjoy becomes something that I “HAVE” to do, I don’t really want to do it anymore. I want to do everything but. Maybe I’ll finish the panel I’m on today, and hopefully this week I can get some of the other panel done. I’ve got less than a month left, and I’ve run out of excuses.

We saw the new James Bond yesterday, Casino Royale. . . holy crap, best Bond movie ever. I used to hate the 007 movies, thinking them sexist and all of that. But this movie was very entertaining and the only real qualm I had with it was that the first car you see Bond driving is a Ford. After that, every car he gets into in the movie is more Bond-esque, an Aston Martin, a Rolls Royce, etc., but that Ford really bothered me. He was also in a Range Rover, but it wasn’t his rental. . .I don’t want to give the movie away. The women in the movie. . .were weird. The first one was not as glamorous and stunning as she was meant to be. The main woman of the movie was much better, but they kept putting too much make up on her. . .damn, I’d love to be a director. . .anyway, if you haven’t seen it, go see it, it’s a very entertaining flick. And there’s a whole parkour scene in the beginning!

I’ve been thinking about the whole working situation and what exactly I’m going to do after I pay off my bills. Because, I’ve talked about starting a business for so long, it’s like I never really expected my debt to be paid off. (Can you blame me? I grew up in a family in debt, and they’re still in debt, I guess I just thought that it would never REALLY go away.) So, now with less than $3k to go, my goal is in sight, and I’m kind of spooked. I can talk about starting a business until my face is blue, but now, the possibility is REAL, and if I want to succeed, I need to take action. I just have NO IDEA what I’m supposed to do. No wonder people are staying in school longer these days. It’s like stalling time. Extensions until action absolutely HAS to be taken.

I don’t want to go back to school. I don’t want to needlessly go back into debt. :/ And I don’t want to be an office girl this time next year. So it’s time to put some serious thought into what actions need to be taken to get myself moving forward. Maybe I should take a shower.

Edit: Things I forgot to mention:

• I don’t think I mentioned that my clothes from Alloy finally came, and I’m pissed because there’s one pair of pants that fit me awesome, and I don’t want to order another pair because I hate the company.
• I finished the other practice sock, and wore them twice already! I had to wash them in Woolite, and that was new for me.
• The girl from livejournal who came to NY this weekend totally flaked on me. Whatever.
• Next Saturday Rob and I will be joining Bay in the city for some xmas shopping at the park fairs, some hot chocolate, and some Spice.
• I cut my hair a litto! I only cut off maybe 3.5 inches, but damn, it makes so much difference. It’s way more manageable and not as ratty. I might cut myself some bangs in the near future, but I’m not sure yet. I’ll try to post some pics soon!
• Since about Thursday I was considering buying a blackberry.  Yesterday while trying to get some stuff done, I actually held the model version in the store, and was disappointed.  They make it look so much cooler on the internet.  I guess I’ll have to wait to see if Tmobile’s service gets any better, and then reconsider a sk3. . .again.