Jeans and Sneakers

So thanksgiving was fun. I’m not going to write in any great detail about how it went. It was basically me, hanging out with my family, and hoping that Rob wasn’t too bored. He found a Rubick’s Cube, so he was ok.

I always have such high expectations whenever I have time off of work, be it regular or extended weekend, and I always end up doing almost nothing. I barely did the rest of the laundry, but I didn’t put it away. I swept part of the hallway/kitchen area, but that’s all the cleaning I did, not including dishes. I did cook a little more than usual, but mostly because it was morning, Rob was sleeping, and I was hungry.

At one point I had aspirations of baking bread, (which I still want to do) but something always seems like a better way of spending my time, like playing Oblivion for an entire day, or watching XFiles with the boy.

Other than that, the only knitting I got accomplished was most of practice sock #2, that I’m not even supposed to be knitting, and I asked my knitting Aunt about what to do on this one part of my dad’s sweater. I fail at being productive with my time. I did start in with the xmas music though, singing along while making myself breakfast.

I ordered some clothes on Alloy.com back on the 8th. They said they shipped them out on the 10th, and were supposed to be here within 10 business days. I didn’t get them last week and started bugging out. So I called and they gave me some garbage about how I was supposed to get them today. I paid for standard shipping, and it supposedly shipped from PA. Well, today’s here and no clothes. I called them again, and they actually said they’d ship out another shipment of clothing to me, and that they’d refund me my shipping fees. Damn straight. I’m still super pissed that I won’t have these clothes until possibly next Tuesday.

I’m considering ordering more clothing from a different site, but I feel kind of guilty for buying stuff for myself during xmas season. I mean, tis the season to be selfless right? And I really should use the money for my other expenses, like my debt, and/or the dentist. . .but sometimes, sometimes you really just need some new clothes. :[

Buying clothes is better than buying a laptop that I’ve wanted forever but probably don’t really need, right? At least I’d definitely wear the clothes.

I got all pissy last night, thinking while I was in the shower, about how I don’t even know if I really want the stuff I want because I want it, or because I think it’ll make other people relate to me better. That’s pretty sad, if you think about it. Aside from Rob, it’s been a pretty long time since I’ve had a friend I could just call or hang out with and talk about stuff with and have them understand where I’m coming from, or vice versa. The people I work with are so incredibly different from me, we just can’t relate to each other. which sucks, because I spend 45 hours a week there.

I might audition for a play tomorrow. I’m not sure, especially since I don’t have the info about where it’s being held, or what time it’s at or whatever. . .but it definitely crossed my mind. I need to get back into something where I can meet some people with similar interests. . .people aside from Rob who I can bounce stuff off of, and give my opinion to, you know. . .friends. :/

Also, I need to get on the ball with this do my own business thing. Because I’m definitely over working where I’m working. They hired another person. . . . .to help out in the back. I’m so overwhelmed with work, it’s not even funny.

but sometimes laughing by yourself just sucks.

I went back to the dentist today, they took xrays and said they’ll tell me the plan of action next week.

I stayed home from work yesterday, and when I came in this morning (usual time, which makes me an ass, cause I’d said that I’d come in early today and I didn’t,), my boss seemed kind of pissed at me.  Then there were two interviews. . .both girls, and I asked Rob to check the Craig’s List listings.  Sure enough, one was posted yesterday for office help.  I bugged out, thinking I’m probably going to get fired.  I didn’t say anything about it to my boss, and he didn’t say anything about it to me,  and then he left early cause he’s going away this weekend.  :/  Towards the end of the day I tried to be sly and ask the coworker that was least likely to go back to my boss and say something about me asking, but the other coworker came in while we were talking about it.  So much for being sneaky.  Anyway, they both said they didn’t think I had anything to worry about.  In fact, the coworker that walked in said that I definitely didn’t, so there’s that.  I’m still suspicious though, because I worry, and I wouldn’t put it past my boss to decide that I’m not efficient enough, and to look for someone better without telling anyone.  I dunno though.  I may just be paranoid.

I was worried, but at the same time, I was kind of happy. . .I’m so retarded.

I miss singing.  I want to be in a show again.  :/

Someone asked me today if I’d gotten any christmas shopping done.  I can’t believe next week is thanksgiving.  Is this year really over?  It seems like not too long ago that I was making that new years wish that 06 would be way better than 05.  Christmas presents.  Damn.

I finished Rob’s socks yesterday.  I’ll take a good picture of them when I can.  I did the kitchner stitch on the toe seam this time and we both agree it came out better that way.  That’s how I wanted to do the first one, but I’m retarded and forgot how to kitchner.

So I’m not starting anything else until I get my dad’s sweater done.  Yep, this again, but it worked last time, so it should work this time too.  I’ve got until christmas to finish his sweater, and I’ll do it.  I just have to not get distracted.  Then afterwards, I’ve got no knitting obligations, and I can work on as many projects as I want.

I still don’t know if I want to rip out the practice sock or knit up a second one.

Work is work, and I’ll leave that at that.

I found out that I have I’ve got Thanksgiving and the Friday afterwards off.  Sweet!  I’ll definitely be going to Auntie Gail’s then.  :]  Oh crap, I forgot to call her!  >:[

Nice!  I just got my cousin on aim, the plans are definite.

Oof, tired and need to shower. . .

So I went to the dentist today.  I had a little bubble of nasty on my gums next to an unfinished root canal I had done a couple of years back.  Turns out the tooth had rotted all the way down to the bone in the center, and only the outside of the tooth and the roots were left.  The dentist had to take out the tooth ruins, and then excavate to extract the roots.  It was not fun.  Right now I feel like Jack’s bleeding gums.  I wonder if I’ve swallowed a pint of blood yet.

My yarn came, and that was enough to keep me happy for awhile.  It’s not an exact match, not really close anyway, it’s mostly red and orange, with some yellow, and all of the colors are much brighter than the yarn I have.  I could have bought a sugar maple skein, and you probably wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.  Oh well.  I’m having a hard time deciding if I’m going to knit up the second sock entirely from the new skein of yarn, (and throw my cares of matching them out the window, at least they’ll both be red,), or making it from the original skein, and then picking up with the new skein when I’ve run out.  Maybe I should just make three socks, the one I have, one entirely from the new skein, and then one with a little bit of both.  Then I could wear either one with the two skein sock, or the mismatched ones together. ..

Oh hell I dunno, I’ve got a while to think about it though, I’ve got to finish my dad’s sweater and Rob’s other sock before I can go back to the Jaywalkers.

Yesterday I bought clothing on the internets.  I hope everything fits, it should, I got the pants all in extra long sizes.  I probably shouldn’t have spent that money, but whatever, I still went to the dentist, and all of my bills are paid current.  I shouldn’t feel guilty for spending some of my money on clothing when I have a little bit of it to spend.

Next month is christmas though.  I’m probably not going to go all out with presents this year.  Just get some stuff for Rob and send cards to everyone else.  I dunno.

Yesterday I went on an internet mission to find matching sock yarn to finish the jaywalkers.  I actually found something!  A similar color scheme in the same Cherry Tree Hill yarn that the first sock is made from.  I bought it on Ebay, and my good luck, the woman lives the next state over and she mailed it out today!  I’m pretty excited about not having to worry about matching this anymore.  Even though I won’t get to knit the other sock for awhile, I’m still pretty happy about it.

Also, I’ve started the next panel of my dad’s sweater.  I’ve been knitting socks, so I forgot how quickly (but never quickly enough. . .*sigh*) bigger yarn knits up.  I’ve already got a couple of inches done, so that should go relatively quickly.  It goes much faster when I have something to watch, but we’re out of good things to watch.

Tonight I watched “It’s a Wonderful Life” while I made tuna casserole, and it was nice to have a little bit of christmas early.  I got kind of bummed out afterward though, because I didn’t have anything else christmas-sy to follow it up with.  Not having anything on to watch made the knitting go a little bit slower.

I’ve been wanting to spin lately too, but I’m apprehensive about getting started because I’m not very good, and plus, my wheel’s in my cold room.  I’ll have to just make myself go in there and turn on the heater or something.  But I’ve got no alternate entertainment in there.  My computer’s in the bedroom now, and so is my clock/radio/cd player that I used to have in there, and my tv and dvd player are in the kitchen.  I guess I could bring the laptop in there and put some yahoo music on, but all too often I want to skip songs, and I can’t be doing that and spinning at the same time.  I’ll figure something out.

I also want to paint. . .but there’s not enough time in the day.  And last night before dozing off I got an idea for a kid’s book that I’d really like to make, even if I don’t try to publish it or anything.  I think it would be a funny book.

Today at work I was thinking about all the time I had when I was unemployed, and kicking myself for not making the best of it, and making some cash.  Now I’m hoping that I don’t do the same thing when I quit, or lose the balls to quit thinking that I’ll just waste my time if I did, and end up stuck in a job that I’m not happy at.  Then I started thinking about how I’m going to word my resignation letter.  That was suprisingly calming.  I got a little bit anxious again though looking at my debt online, and thinking about how long I’m going to have to keep working to have it paid off already.  Not to mention christmas, and getting my teeth fixed, and renewing my car insurance come March, and god knows what else.

Bills, bills, wants, needs.  Money is the devil.  :[

I feel great.  I mean, today, I did pretty much nothing other than finishing Rob’s first sock, and I feel that gross kind of feeling I get when I don’t leave the house all day, but still I feel great.

Rob and I had a conversation the other night about how my behavior and general demeanor has changed since I’ve stopped the bc.  It’s funny how you always learn more in retrospect.  For the past two and a half years. . . at least. . . .I’ve been depressed.  I was always tired, never motivated to do much of anything, and anything I did accomplish was only through the greatest effort and feat of willpower.  I had to force myself to knit.  To go bike riding.  To have sex.  I didn’t want to do anything.  And now, it’s like a storm is clearing up.  The dark thunderheads are breaking up and the sun is peeking through.  So yeah, I feel great.

I was reluctant to admit that it was having that great of an effect on me, but even Rob says that my general mood is better, and I haven’t even been trying to be nicer/happier or anything.  It’s like a weight off my shoulders knowing that the patch was what was causing my severe melancholy.

My painting stuff came yesterday and I’m pretty excited about it.  I haven’t started anything, or even given any serious thought to what I want to paint (other than the two ideas I’ve had for months now), but I’ve got what I need to get started, and that makes me happy.  I went to the library today to renew my card and get some movies, and I also picked up an acrylic painting technique book.  It’s really old, but very informative!  I can’t wait to try and paint something.

I really shouldn’t start anything new though, since I’ve got to finish my dad’s sweater before Xmas.  I might do something anyway.  Not too sure.

I’m going to shower and pass out, so. . .good night!

And I’m feeling pretty chipper. Today on Myspace I found a guy I’d been looking for since I moved downstate, and he got divorced. My buddy Shaun from college. So Myspace really does have a use!

I got kind of pissed at work today. Apparrently me telling my boss and coworkers how busy I’ve been, and how I’m not getting everything done that I’m supposed to, really means that I’ve been doing just fine. I made a decision to do something at work today, and when I told my boss about it, it came to light that I really was way behind in some of my work. My boss and coworker then told me that they thought I was only a few days behind, instead of the few weeks it actually is.

I love it when people don’t listen to me. I don’t know what they thought the growing piles of unfinished work on my desk were. . .but whatever, the issue is resolved, for now. And, plus, my boss said he might be hiring a new person to help out, and someone came in to interview today.

My painting stuff comes tomorrow! I’m pretty excited, and I’m thinking about baking some bread this weekend.

I have to chill on spending money for awhile, I just got some kind of abscess in my gums or something, I made a dentist’s appointment, and then moved it sooner so that I can get this taken care of. Hopefully it doesn’t become a serious problem. Further hopefully, it doesn’t set me back on my debt paying schedule too badly. :/

I’m looking forward to a nice quiet, do-nothing weekend.

Oh yeah, and I want to make a sweater that looks like this: