Jeans and Sneakers

I didn’t get anything done today.  It was nice though, after work, I came home and hung out with Rob for a bit, and we fell asleep.  Taking naps is so underrated.  We’ll probably go see Clerks2 tomorrow.

I’m going to try to work on the dolls some more this week after I get home from work, so that I don’t have to use my weekend day sitting in my room by myself wishing I was relaxing in the ac rather than worrying about my upcoming deadline.

Rob got these cool things for the computer. . .a program called WindowBlinds that makes windows look pretty (I’ve been trying to figure out a way to make my start bar not so ugly for a while, just not too hard though.), and some other program that’s a calendar on my desktop that when you double click it pulls up a big calendar that you can put notes on and stuff.  I can’t say how valuable that is to me, since I don’t use outlook, I was seriously considering actually buying a wall calendar.  I don’t know when the last time I paid for a calendar was. . .but I dunno.  I needed something that I could put notes on with dates that I have to remember, that’s easily accessible.  I have a little wallet calendar thingy that my grandmother got me for xmas, but I can never find it and it’s got my sister’s name on it.  (My sister’s has my name on it.  It’s just the cover, all the insides are the same.)  I’m rambling.  Point being, I keep meaning to use it, but because it is not in my path of everyday things, I don’t use it as much as I should.

So yeah.  Desktop calendar is a good thing.  Also, the notes that you put up on the calendar show up on your desktop in the upper right hand corner, letting you know your soonest up and coming dates to remember.  So even if you don’t open the calendar, you can look at your recent notes and see what’s coming pretty effortlessly.  I’m liking it.

The shawl is coming along.  Last night I finished row repeat #6. . . and she’s starting to look like a lace shawl.  Quite pretty actually.  I can’t wait to have it done.  Rob’s supposed to be getting a sk3 for work so I’m thinking of knitting him a little sksock so it doesn’t get all scratched up in his pocket.  We’ll see, I still owe him socks.

It was so busy, and it’s over already.

Friday night I came home and mowed the lawn. Then Rob and I got into a stupid argument that took a while. After we made up we went grocery shopping. We made it home just in time for me to remember that I had to go pick up my sister at the train station. I brought her back and cooked dinner, and we all talked until she passed out, followed by me passing out, and I assume Rob passed out shortly thereafter.

Saturday was my day to get shit done supposedly. I dropped Wyn off at the train station, she had her own shit to do, and then I came back home with the intention of starting the dolls that I got an order for. I procrastinated. A lot. I did get them started though, there’s still a lot of work to be done on them. Then people started showing up, Wyn and my dad first, then my mom and brothers, who weren’t even supposed to come over, but they had to, and then Vinny and his girlfriend. Just enough of everyone who stresses me out a little bit, altogether at my house at once, yeah, it was a good time. Then Vinny left, then my dad, and two of Rob’s friends showed up and I told my mom she was going to have to go because everyone else who’d be drinking would be showing up soon and I didn’t really want my mom there for that. She said ok, and left after a little bit. But then no one else really showed up. Our ex roomate from the house before this one showed up with his girlfriend for a little while, and that was it. There were like, at least 7 other people who were supposed to come over, who totally just dicked out.

I’m not inviting people over anymore. Vinny pissed me off the most I think, he kept telling me that he was going to come over sometime and use my spinning wheel because he saw how to do it on Reading Rainbow once so he knew all about it. Then when I showed him the roving to spin, he proceeded to tell me that “I didn’t have everything I needed” because he remembered seeing hand carders and thinking that you had to use them to fluff up the wool before you could spin it. I was trying to explain to him that the roving I had was already carded, that carding was to clean out the wool and get it ready for spinning, and he had no idea what was going on, and kept insisting that my roving wasn’t ready for spinning. Because he saw it on Reading Rainbow.

It’s not like I did any kind of research before spending almost $500 on a wheel.

Then he was looking at my lace and the first thing he did was pull the last 10 stitches I’d knitted off the needle. I almost shit. It’s a good thing that shit is mohair because the loops stayed where they were for the most part, and I saved it. Then I hurried him out of my room.

I hate it when people are obnoxious in your house.

Today I saw my sister off and went to Rob’s parent’s for dinner and to lounge in the pool. It was nice, but it’s already 8pm on Sunday and I’ve got work tomorrow.

All weekend I’ve been thinking about how much my job affects my life because it constrains me to a finite time schedule. If I want to do anything, I’ve got to do it before such and such time so that I can still do what I have to in order to be ready for work the next day. But if Rob wants to do anything like go to the car store for stuff or something and he wants me to come with him, if it takes any longer than he says it will when we leave it messes up my whole schedule. Not like I’m any good at keeping my own mental schedule, but I try. I’ll have a somewhat planned agenda if I know that I have to cook dinner, shower, do laundry, and knit before I go to bed, I’ll plan the order of everything and try to get it all done. But somehow I can’t always do everything I want to before it’s time to go to sleep. Then when I wake up in the morning it never feels like I’ve had enough sleep.  And it makes me angry. And the only thing I can think of to blame is work, because I’ve been spoiled enough to have been unemployed a couple of times, and I know how much more smoothly my life moves when I can wake up and go to sleep on my own terms. It also makes me less cranky because I won’t care as much if Rob wants to do something and it takes longer than we thought.

So I’ve been thinking about how I’ve got this stupid debt to pay off (which was part of the argument on Friday, which is probably why it’s weighing heavily on my mind this weekend), and how I’ve got this job that pays me so much, and I’ve got x number of bills to pay a month, and I want to save up for a better car and I want to help Rob save money to buy a house. And I’m thinking about how on my pay, how long it’s going to be before any of this can be accomplished, ie: paying off debt, getting my teeth fixed, saving up for said car and house. And how I’m just going to have to deal with not being able to do anything I want when I want for that long, because I have to keep this job until I get everything done. And that doesn’t make me very happy.

I try to think of ways, something, anything that I could work towards, some way of starting a business, to work for myself, on my own terms, so that I can live on my own schedule. I try to think of something, so that I can start planning, so that I can get started, so that I can tell myself, yes, you have to wake up and be at work at 8 am every day. . .but it’s only until x time, because then you’ll have your business running. So that I can know that I won’t have to be doing this for an infinite amount of time with no reward in sight.

I shouldn’t say that. Getting out of debt is a nice reward. But the way I look at it, I’ll be out of debt, but still having to wake up and be at work at 8 every morning. :/ I don’t want to live like this. I know it’s stupid because 90% or more of the population wakes up and goes to work in the morning. 90% or more of the population works for someone else and doesn’t like their job. I feel like I’m whining about it, and I should just deal with it and shut up. But I can’t do that. I’m not happy with it and I don’t want to accept it.

:/

A modification will be in the works shortly.  I started playing around with ideas for new layouts yesterday, but didn’t really get anywhere solid.  Hopefully I can get something going.  I’m going to be pretty busy once I decide to use my free time to do anything other than getting as much attention from Rob as I can.  I’ve got to finish this fricken shawl, and now I’ve got two dolls and 3.5 weeks to finish them in.

So it might be awhile before the new layout.  Plus there’s a planned bbq here on Saturday, and Sunday’s looking kind of busy too, trying to go out for Cinnabons with my dad in the morning, and the usual dinner at Rob’s parents tomorrow night.

Work wasn’t quite so bad today, it was pretty busy, but I started getting things done.  There’s just a lot going on because the company is growing so fast. . .we’re pretty understaffed.  But to hire another person now would make everyone have too much free time I think.  I dunno, that’s not my decision, but I’ve got tons of shit to do at work.  And I still hate waking up early and leaving Rob in bed.  :[

I have some ideas for advertising my forum.  But I’ve been in this weird mind frame lately, and I can’t actually make the decision to go ahead and take some action with them.  I dunno what I’m afraid of, but I think that’s what it boils down to.  Me being afraid of making too much work for myself, and then letting myself down.  I guess doing nothing is kind of letting yourself down in advance, but whatever.  I’ll try to get motivated somehow.

I still haven’t made the bags I was going to make.  I still want to, but the main bag that started it all isn’t even needed anymore, as the girl who it was for has been MIA for a while now.  I should still make my messenger bag though.  I should draw it up first with measurements and everything so that I don’t mess it up.

Ok.  Time to go do stuff.

At least, that’s one of my mental perks to the thought of working for myself.  Also. . .if you quit working for yourself, you’re still unemployed, but you don’t have to worry about what your lame ass employers are going to say when you give notice.

I have a good job.  My current employer is not lame.  But sometimes things get really busy and I can’t handle it.  And I’m worried because this is supposed to be the slow season.   I have no idea what the eff I’m going to do when things get “busy”.

This weekend was busy but good.  Friday night Rob and I went to the city to hang out with Bay, Mike, Wyn, Chi, and Ralph.  We ate yummy thai food and went bowling.  Saturday I cleaned the house some and rearranged my room.  I was going to post pictures, but I’m lazy.  Sunday Rob and I went to Rotorfest in NJ, which I forgot to bring my camera to.  It was really hot, I wore a skirt, and we all got a little sunburned.

Other stuff happened this weekend that made me reflect on life a little bit.  Lots of thoughts flying around my head.

Today I was pretty miserable though.  I really need to figure out a way to make money and not be miserable.  I think it’s imperative to my health.  :/

It was quite a day for me. . .I’ve been trying to get plans together to hang out with a bunch of people tomorrow, and things just weren’t working out for awhile.

I had a reservation for a room at a Bed and Breakfast in Rhinebeck for the Sheep and Wool festival.  The woman who owned it called me today to let me know that she sold the place, as a private home.  So here it is near the end of June, and I was without a reservation to probably the biggest wool event in NY State.  I was absolutely certain that I was sol for a place to stay and that I’d have to miss out on the festival this year.

But who’s lucky today?  I am!  I got the LAST ROOM at another B&B in Red Hook, just a couple of miles north of Rhinebeck.  And. . .it also has a whirlpool tub, which I’d thought for sure I’d miss out on now that I lost that other reservation.  And. . .it’s cheaper than the other room I was going to get.  Dopeness.  I’m excited.

Thanks to Saun, I’ve been watching the Nightmares and Dreamscapes miniseries.  The first two were pretty bad, but right up to par when it comes to Stephen King made for TV Miniseries.  But the two that came out yesterday weren’t too bad.  Pretty good actually.  I was happy with them.

I haven’t made any progress on Birch since I finished the second row repeat.  I’m thinking I might try to do a third tonight, but I don’t know if I’ll have the stamina to sit there and work through all 8 rows in one sitting, and I don’t know if I can do it before midnight.

This weekend should be kind of busy, what with going to the city tomorrow night (I’ll try to remember to bring my camera this time, I swear), and all of the knitting/sewing/cleaning I plan on doing on Saturday. . .It’s probably going to fly by.

Oh!  This past weekend I bought a t-shirt and hoodie from my side project’s spreadshirt store. . .and was so excited to see DHL tracking say that it was on the delivery truck today.  Too bad it was apparrently ghetto DHL delivery service on the package, because instead of delivering it to my house, they dropped it off at a not-so-near postoffice to be delivered at USPS’s discression.   Fantastic.  I wanted  that hoodie to wear to the city tomorrow.

I was bad yesterday. I decided I needed more skirts. I went to the mall, figuring that I’d probably not really find anything that I liked anyway, and that I could get one or two skirts and come home. Well. I found about 6 skirts. . .and some shirts. . .and some shoes. . .and some jewelery. . .and some perfume. . ..yeah. I was bad.

But the stuff I got is absolutely adorable. And the most important part. . .I’ll actually wear it. All of it. These are the outfits I wore yesterday and today:

The best part about this outfit is the bra that fits, doesn’t show any nipples, and that you can’t see at all. Amazing. Polka dots are also amazing.

The necklace and bracelets are also new, and I’ll probably get a lot of wear out of them. I was pissed today because one of the little bracelets broke, and now there are beads all over my carpet. I would be less pissed if I could find them all, since I’d just restring them.

New outfit #2 had to be taken in separate pics, because it wouldn’t look right when I tried to take a picture of myself. (Rob took the pic of new outfit #1. I didn’t feel like asking him to take another pic of me, to appease my ego.)

I love this sweater. It’s very light pink yarn that’s spun together with some white yarn. Very fine, and the ribbing is made by a very clever method of dropping stitches, that doesn’t involve dropping stitches at all. At the bottom of this sweater, you can see where they knit3tog and must have left extra yarn between stitches (probably alot like that loop technique). So in the end, it looks like dropped stitches, but it’s not. Anyway, It’s an adorable sweater.

And it’s pink, which is weird for me, but it works.

This skirt is actually tailored to fit my low-waist area and hips. That NEVER happens. So you could probably imagine how happy I am that I found it.

I did just notice now while writing this post, that it has those stupid bleached in whisker thingies. . .that just happen to be in a V shape right over my vag. Thanks fashion, as if people didn’t already know that’s where my junk is.

:[

I still like the skirt. :]

Now excuse my dirty room, and check out my adorable shoes. I’m in love with these. They were buy one get one half off at Charlotte Russe. I bought these and a pair of heels with the same uppers in brown pleather. Adorable. I will be rocking the cuteness this summer.

Rob can’t keep his hands off me, and I’m loving it. :]

In other news. . .I finally got the hang of knitting this lace shawl. You’ll notice the progress meter has moved. I’ve actually made it past the first 8 row repeat. I’m pretty excited, and can’t wait to get this effing thing done. It’d better look like the picture. Ha.

Yesterday we went to a party at our buddy’s house. I thought it was going to suck, but it was actually a good time. I even went out to buy batteries for my mouse so that I could take pictures again, and bring the camera to the party. Guess what I forgot when we actually left? Yeah, there are no party pictures. That’s probably for the best though.

We got home around 6 am and showered and passed out. I never realized how much cigarette smoke makes your clothes smell like nasty until I quit. Of course. There were mostly smokers at the party yesterday, and when we came home, it was gross, we could smell ourselves. And on a side note, I hate people who think they’re punk rock, and scream shit about how great anarchy is, when they obviously have no effing clue about how the government, while engaging in some shady shit, is still successfully running this country. Don’t tell me that you going to a punk show in the city is making a political statement. No one outside of your little effing niche is taking you seriously. If you want to be heard try writing a letter and getting a petition signed, rather than loudly ranting and rambling so that even your followers don’t truely know what you’re rebelling over. Kthx. >:[ I shouldn’t say that, I don’t listen to much punk rock, but obviously, if there are fans of punk out there like the person I’m talking about, the message is not getting through. Try something else. And also, while *I’m* ranting, talking about how much crack you smoked the night before, and putting cigarettes out on yourself do not convince me that you are hardcore and mean what you say. It makes me think that you need to seek some serious help.

Today was nice, we woke up and headed over to Rob’s parent’s house and spent the afternoon in the pool. It was so hot out today! I don’t think I’ve ever so thoroughly enjoyed laying on a pool float for hours. Haha, when I took off my bathing suit to change, my skin seemed like it was glowing. I got pretty dark today.

On that note, I have to take a shower and relax for the rest of the night. Summer is good!

It’s pretty comfy too.  And it looks classier than it actually is.  Lol.  I’d take a picture, but right now half of my camera batteries are in my mouse.

I was going to sew today, but I failed.  I really didn’t feel like sewing at all.  I did manage to get thread for Rob’s shorts that keep ripping. . .so that’s good at least.

I do want to sew those bags, just not today.  Today was a very stressful mental day and I don’t want to figure out dimensions, and what has to get sewn first so that when it’s done it looks alright.

Other than that. . .it’s Tuesday.

It might have to do with the doubly caffeinated Coke Blak I’m drinking.  And the tasty tasty tacos I just had for dinner.  And because I have Rob all to myself for the rest of the evening.

Sorry for my last emo post, but sometimes it  really bothers me that all of my so called “friends” ditched me.  So I guess it’s up to me to be more social and make more.

This weekend I bought some awesome fabric to use to make a little bag for a friend of mine, and to clone/redesign a knitting messenger bag I saw on the internet that I refuse to pay $70 for.  The fabric for it was like. . . $12 or something ridiculous like that.  I’ll be playing with the sewing machine tomorrow.

I’m off to enjoy my evening with my love, and try and get enough sleep.  :]

Ha.  So I went to my friend Vinny’s bbq.  I knew two people other than him there from hs, and I couldn’t really have an extended conversation with either of them.  Rob and I just sat there talking to eachother pretty much.

But the atmosphere did something to me.  It’s summer, I look pretty today, it’s Saturday night, and I’m home already.  It’s only 9:45pm.  I went through my phone to see if there was anyone I could call to hang out. . .and came up with no one.  I actually deleted a bunch of people’s #’s from my phone, either because I don’t want to talk to them anymore (like that one stalker guy), or because their numbers have most likely changed, as I haven’t spoken to them in several years.  I could try to call them again, but a good majority of them were people I used to sleep with. . . .and I don’t know what I’d say to them now if I did talk to them.

I want to go out and do something.  Something that doesn’t involve beer.  I don’t like beer.  And long island is absolutely infatuated with it.  :[  I’m so bummed out today that it’s a Saturday night and I’m sitting at home being bored.  I haven’t felt like this since I was in high school and wasn’t allowed to go anywhere.

Seriously, I’m thinking about cancelling my cellphone.  I probably won’t, but it’d save me about $50 a month. . .

So where does a 20 something female go to look for friends who aren’t looking for someone to hook up with?  :[