Jeans and Sneakers

I gone and done it.

I seriously doubt anyone from Long Island reads this blog.  But just in case, I went and started a forum for Long Island crafty people.  Check it out over at CraftyLongIsland.com!

In other news, I haven’t gotten much knitting done at all.  Birch is sucking all of the joy of knitting right out of me.  :[  I sit and I concentrate, and I get angry, and I put it down.  *sigh*.  Maybe I should stick to socks.  I don’t even want to knit those lately.

I haven’t been doing much of anything in my spare time really, other than reading.  I think I keep freaking out that I only have so much spare time, that I end up panicking and not doing anything with it.

I decided today that I really do want to start a business, and also help Rob buy a house.  And the most logical way I can do that, is to keep my current job (although, and I know I say something about it every time I mention my job but it’s true, I can’t STAND waking up early), and work on starting up what I can, so that hopefully I’ll have two sources of income eventually so that I can help save up for a house.  And ultimately, when the house is bought, ideally, I can quit my job and work for myself.

It’s scary writing it out for everyone else to see.  Of course, it’s a fantastic idea when it’s in your head, but once it comes out. . .once it’s open to scrutiny. . .that’s when the doubt begins.

Well, screw it.  Maybe publishing my airy intentions will help stabilize them, and scare me into taking some of my flighty ideas seriously.  I have a lot of good ideas, all the time I have them.  But I never once put them to good use.  >:[

So there, I wrote it out.  Now let’s see if I can do it.

I have a feeling this is going to be another great disappointment.  Kind of the same way I know that I might not be productive for the rest of the night.  :/  I’m going to have to work on that.

It wouldn’t be hard to predict that during a three day weekend I wouldn’t write once.  :[

I suck.

But, I did get Birch started again, without ripping her out this time.  I'm not very far, but I got her started.

I also knit a little bit more of the Applejack Jaywalkers.  Yay!

I also read.  A lot.

And I got around to playing Oblivion again.  That game can easily suck hours of your life away.

Other than that, not much happened.  We went to Stephen's Bbq, and that was fun.  We saw X3 and that was good.  I got a lot of sleep and that's always good.

Today I'm torn.  I know I should knit Birch, I know I should.  But I also want to read and I also want to play Oblivion.

I also want to watch a movie with Rob, but he got his processor for his new computer and is playing with it to set it up.  I don't know how long he'll be, but I don't want to nag him to do what I want and interrupt him at doing what he wants.  :]

Sooooo. . .I think I’ll read a little bit.  :]

I really don’t have any huge plans for the weekend. Mostly I just want to be lazy and watch movies and get Rob to cuddle with me as much as possible.

But there are a few things going on. Tomorrow my friend Stephen is having a bbq, and we’ll probably stop by (yay for food you don’t have to cook!). Also, tonight I started Birch again, (count it. . .it’s cast on #5. I’m so glad I bought an extra ball of yarn. :[ ) and this time I'm pretty confident I've got the thing licked. Stitch markers and all I've figured out how the pattern works, and counted my stitches every step of the way so far. It's going to take me forever, but at least I've got it started. I probably won't touch it for the rest of the night. . .I'll just put it aside for my full attention again tomorrow.

I've been knitting here and there on the applejack jaywalker, but the pattern and my own craziness makes it slow going. I won't really let myself get all into it because I know I should be knitting that shawl. I can't wait until it's done.

Today the yarn for my dad's sweater came!! It's Cascade 220 Heathers, look!:

I can't wait to start playing with it, I love Cascade 220! I'm using the pattern from the Spring issue of Interweave, Cambridge Jacket.

I'm super excited about making a sweater for my dad. He's probably the sole person responsible for my love of sweaters. His hand-me-downs were amazing and comfortable. For me to make him a sweater is like coming full cicrle. I hope he loves it! (I hope it fits him! My dad is 6'6"!)

The pattern is made up in this bright orange color, but I think it'll look just as good in a mellow color, especially on my dad. He's not really an orange type of guy. I'm sure he'll like the blue color I did get. :]

I also got this:

Unfortunately, the place I got it from, WEBS, I think, didn’t show pics of the patterns in the

book, and the cover pattern is the only one I like. I’ll probably never even make it. Oh well, you never know, I just might.

Seriously now. I’m having major issues. I must be the only knitter with a blog to be defeated by Birch. I swear. Everyone else on the internet seems to love this pattern, to say how wonderful it was to knit up, how after maybe a change of needles, it was an amazing knit.

I’ve now tried FOUR times to start knitting this stupid effing lace shawl, because I wanted to give my mom something nice and a little bit luxurious for Mother’s day. And every single effing time, I’ve been foiled. This time, even with STITCH MARKERS, for crying out loud, I started off with 299 stitches, and by the end of row 4, I have 300. This is supposed to be a decreasing pattern. And also, I’ve noticed that the place where my stitch markers fall on the next row doesn’t always match up. Fantastic. Am I that dim witted, that much of a freak with no attention span, that a VERY SIMPLE lace pattern escapes me?

I’m seriously considering giving up on this. I’ve already thought of how easy it could be to raffle off the three and a half balls of KSH and stupid Rowan 34 pattern book that mocks me. But there’s a part of me with a stupid foolish pride, that won’t let some stupid worm poo and shorn hair twist get the best of me. For now though, I can’t look at it without wanting to burst into tears. So I’m putting it aside for the weekend, when I can hopefully have better luck again. In the meantime, I can only hope my mom understands the further delay while I knit these a little more:

Tell me that’s not an awesome pattern. I wish the light were a little bit better in here, the colors are more vibrant than they look in the picture.

The pattern is simple, and instantly flattering. I didn’t know how the colors would show once I started knitting, but I’m pleased with the results, and am thinking about making a matching tank top.

Which kind of but not really brings me to the next thing I wanted to ramble about. I’ve mentioned my new job in here, and I’m pretty sure I wrote about how my review went well. This week, part of me rebelled hardcore against waking up at 7:30 in the morning and being there for 9 hours during the day. I know everyone has to work to survive and all that, but it seriously tears at my mind and heart that I can’t be doing something more suited to me. I don’t even know what that is, I don’t have a “I want to be ________ when I grow up,” I only have a list of things I don’t want to spend my time doing.

And I see how Rob lives, and how he’s studied on his own to learn what he needs (and what he’s interested in) to fulfill his promise to himself that he’d work on his own terms, that he’d never have a job that he had to wear a suit for. And I get mad that I can’t work on my own terms. That I’ve got to have an office job, because I’ve never done anything else with myself that will land me any other kind of job, and I’m not confident enough yet to actually start a business and create my own terms.

It’s really depressing, thinking that you’ll be stuck doing something you don’t want to be doing for the rest of your life. And I’ve been trying, these past few years, to come up with something else to do that would allow me to survive and be happy, but it’s all really me grasping at straws.

I know my job is a good one, but I still feel like it’s not for me. This happens with every job I’ve gotten so far. So many trial and errors look bad on a resume. So I’m kind of bummed out, not really knowing what to do.

Sorry for the down post, but what’s a blog for, if not to vent?

Edit:  Rob’s mom loved the sweater, and it actually didn’t look so horrible on her, it fit her well.  She said she was going to wear it to work this past Monday, but I don’t know if she did or not.  She seemed really happy with it though. 

the depth of feelings you have. This is one of those times. I had such high expectations of this sweater. Even though I knew knitting it up in acrylic yarn might not be as nice and drapey and pretty as with wool or some other type of yarn may have been. Even though I knitted it over time, and I saw at the end of the main body that my gauge had changed entirely. I still thought that when I seamed everything up, it would make up for it all. I was wrong. It’s not horrible. . .it still looks like a sweater. . .but it’s not everything I’d expected it to become. Here, take a look at Sonnet Completed:

I’m not even going to post multiple pictures of it, not going to link it to a bigger picture so that you can see all of the fine details. Let me tell you why.

I’m embarassed. And the worst part is, I’m still giving it to Rob’s Mom, because I have nothing else to give her, and I’m hoping that she can see through it’s flaws to what it was supposed to be.

I’d have taken a picture with the sweater on, but the arms look ridiculous on me. Rob’s Mom’s arms are way shorter than mine, I’m only hoping that they’re short enough for the sweater.

The good news is, I’m finally finished with it, and I can begin Birch, which will hopefully live up to it’s expectations. (It had better, after all the crap I went through to try and get the proper things to make it.)

:[ I really want to be knitting socks. I want to knit Birch, but I’m afraid of it. It foiled me twice, and I don’t want to have to force myself to admit that lace has beaten me. Wish me luck.

So I began this week determined to finish Sonnet. And also, worried frantic about my personal review that my boss told me I was going to have on Monday. And throughout the entire week, I neglected my blog. I’m horrible.

So here’s what’s occurred. . .hopefully in some kind of chronological order. Monday the review didn’t happen, though for almost the entire day at work I was nervous as hell and my stomach was a mess. I came home and started adding items to our cart at PeaPod. I got super excited about the idea of having food in my house again. Rob and I watched History of the World Part I (to which, I was surprisingly unimpressed. . .I usually laugh my ass off during Mel Brooks flicks), and I got a bunch (but not all) done on the second and last sleeve/piece of Sonnet. Then it got late, and it was time for bed. I think on Monday night I also ordered books from Overstock.com. I got The Dark is Rising Sequence for me, The DaVinci Code for Rob, Angels and Demons for me, and Anne Rice’s Sleeping Beauty Trilogy for me, so I can finally read the last book.

Tuesday I also did not have my review. I was less worried about it during the day, I was beginning to believe that though my boss gave one of my coworkers his review, that he might altogether decide I was too new to have one. Tuesday night I don’t remember what I did, but I did knit a bunch, enough so that I was done with the increases, and just had to knit even until it was long enough, and start the shoulder shaping which totals a whopping 12 rows. But once I finished the increases, I was tired, and it was almost bed time, so I just went to bed.

Wednesday while I was at work my boss reminded me that he wanted to have a review with me, and suggested we have it Thursday morning. The nervousness returned, but less brutally. Also while at work, PeaPod delivered our first batch of groceries. :] Rob was amazing and cleaned out the fridge for me before putting all of the food away. <3! Wednesday night I came home and made the dopest Alfredo Sauce evAr, recipe by my mom. I had to call her to make sure I was doing it right, and when I did, she reminded me that my littlest brother’s band concert was Thursday, and told me that he didn’t have any pants to wear for it. I offered to buy him some, and thus, lost all chance of knitting on Wednesday. I did have fun taking my brother shopping though. :] And I brought some of my Blackened Chicken Alfredo over to my mom’s so they could have some and they all loved it.

Thursday I had my review. I had to remind my boss around 11am that he said he was going to do it, because I was tired of worrying about it, I wanted it over with already. I was convinced that he was going to tell me how much I mess up and how I’m worse than the last girl and if I kept it up, they were going to fire me like they did her. I always expect the worst. But the review went well. Apparrently they’re really happy with me, and the effort I’ve put forth so far, and think that I’m a great match for the company. My boss said I have a raw intelligence that he’s glad I use while working, and he’s confident that when he gives me something to do if I don’t know how to do it I’ll figure it out. I’ll probably keep this job for a good long while, even though I HATE waking up so early.

Thursday night I came home and didn’t even get to eat dinner, though I did knit a few rows even on the last sleeve, before going to my mom’s house to follow them to the concert. It was cute, all in all, and my dad was there, so we caught up. Afterwards I went back to my mom’s house for awhile, and ultimately came home. It was too late to finish the sleeve *and* sew the sweater together, so I just left it for today and started reading Over Sea and Under Stone, the first book of The Dark is Rising Sequence. It’s pretty good, though the writing style is kind of old, (I think the books came out in the 70’s or so) and it’s kind of funny to adapt to the things they took for granted. I’m going to finish the sweater tonight, and I promise, either later on tonight, or tomorrow I’ll have pictures both of the completed sweater, and of my now complete spinning wheel. (Did I mention before that it was missing the threading hook? They sent me a new one, it came today.)

Sorry I suck at blogging!

This might seem kind of silly, dedicating a post to my mom on my blog, when she doesn’t even have the blog address. But the only reason she really doesn’t have this address is because (like you haven’t noticed) I talk about my knitting projects A LOT, and some of them are for her and are surprises. Also, I don’t always like it when EVERYONE close to me reads my blog and then I can’t have a conversation with anyone because they all know what’s going on in my life already, and all I can do is listen to what’s going on in theirs.

Anyway. Yeah, it’s Mother’s Day. I kind of feel bad, because my mom’s present isn’t done yet, so this is the least I can do, even if she doesn’t get to see it. I hope she knows everything I’m going to say already, anyway.

My mom and I haven’t always gotten along. I remember being somewhere between 3 and 5 years old and fighting with her every morning about waking up to go to pre-school. I’d give her hell, because I just wanted to stay asleep, and I didn’t see what the big deal was, since it wasn’t like I was going to REAL school yet. Sometimes I’d make her late for work, but she always got me up and to pre-school. I never minded once I was there, since that’s where all my friends were anyway. Sorry for making you late to work Mommy. :[

Then we got a little bit older, and I used to envy my mom. We were living in Brooklyn at the time, and I remember her having these awesome (80's) outfits that she used to wear to work, and very rarely when she'd go out. I remember one night she went to a Prince concert, and I begged her to let me come with her. Of course, she said no, but she brought me back a Prince pin, and I thought it was the coolest. :]

In middle school and high school, my mom became “the easy parent”, the one I knew I could go to when I wanted to go do something, and a lot of the time she’d say yes, and I’d love her for it. Occasionally she’d say the dreaded words, “Go ask your father,” and then I’d get mad knowing that my dad would never say ok. But seriously, looking back, none of those things that she “doomed” me to stay home from were anything I really needed to be around anyway. Thank you Mommy, good looking out. :]

When I went to college, things changed a bit. All of the sudden, out of nowhere, my parents started treating me as an adult with a brain and a full grasp of logic. It was pretty weird after having been under “lock and key” for so long, to tell my mom one summer break that I was going out at like 11pm, and have her say “Just make sure you have your keys!”, was totally the weirdest thing ever. But for the better I think. That was when I started to really look at my parents like humans too, as opposed to these god-like parental figures, and oh boy was I curious. I wanted to know everything about who my parents were, and why they think the way they do, and what events in their lives moulded their characteristics now. My mom seemed more than happy to share herself as a person with me. It only brought us closer, and I’d like to say thank you again Mommy, for being one of my best friends. :]

When you come right down to it, my mom *is* the coolest. I can’t think of anyone better to go dancing with, (and holy crap can she dance. She leaves me standing on the sidelines panting, and she’s still out on the floor, 3am, dancing the night away), no one in the world makes better fried chicken (my favorite. :] ), she’s always someone I can confide in, and always good for a silly laugh. She gave me at least half of my awesome taste in music, half of my open minded point of view, most of my MacGuyver skills around the house, and my eyes (my favorite feature. . .on both of us. :] ) So although you may not ever read this, I love you Mommy. Happy Mother’s Day!

Here’s a dope pic of my mom that my dad took sometime when they were dating I think. Isn’t she beautiful? :]

Sleeve #1 of Sonnet is done.  It’s about frickin time.  I didn’t even know last night that I’d already increased as much as I’d needed to.  I ended up increasing another set before realizing that I had done one too many.  Then I ripped out all 8 rows, instead of just the one row with the increases. . .only to knit them again to get the piece to 16.5 inches.  I know, I’m SMRT.

So I cast on the second sleeve and I’m going to knit until the begining of the increases tonight, and then get some sleep.  Hopefully, if all goes well, I can finish sleeve #2 tomorrow, and sew them both on, finishing the sweater in enough time for Mother’s Day.  I suck at planning.

Looks like I won’t be spinning for awhile, I’ve got so many projects, my mom’s lace shawl still, the applejack (jaywalker) socks, then a pair of socks with the wrong black yarn to test out the pattern I’ll ultimately use for the right black yarn for Rob’s socks.  Then another friend’s socks, socks for my mom and for myself, and the hat.  I’d be surprised if I get that hat done this summer, it seems like things keep coming up.  But socks are comparatively quick, so we’ll see.

My boss kind of ruined my weekend today, by telling me that we’re going to be having personal review meetings on Monday, and if I had any questions or anything I wanted attention brought to, to think about it over the weekend, and bring it up on Monday.  Fantastic.  The only question I can think of is, “are you going to fire me?”  They fired the last girl that worked there after FOUR MONTHS.  I’ve only been around for 2.  Apparrently she kept messing up really badly, but I’ve messed up a bunch of times, and I worry.  So now I’m concerned about the job.

But I don’t recall them saying anything about their last girl having any computer/design/internet/website skills, so maybe I’m a better catch.  Maybe I’ll last 6 months.  :[

Wish me luck on the completion of sonnet.  I probably won’t post at all tomorrow, unless I get it done, in which case you can expect pictures.

There will be no serious post today, because I have received my spinning wheel, and have put it together.  I gave it a go, and created some ridiculously uneven yarn, (lol) and have put it away for today.  I don’t want to ruin my happy high by messing up any more of my nice superwash roving.  I’ll probably buy some cheap stuff to get good on soon.

Man I really have to start taking pictures when it’s brighter outside, because taking pictures in my house just sucks.

Here’s the body of Sonnet.  Sorry for the poor lighting.  It’s pretty, but totally uneven.  I guess the impending deadline of Mother’s day bugged me out, because the tension of the latter part is tighter than the tension of the former part, and so it’s uneven when you button it up.

You can’t tell if you yank on the side that comes up shorter.  :/  I feel like a bad knitter and a bad son’s girlfriend for not fixing this, but I really have no more time.  And I’ve got another problem.

This is sleeve #1.  I worked on it all yesterday evening, and I’m only this far.  I’m seriously starting to worry.  I’ve got 9 more sets of increases before I start the shoulder shaping.  I did 3 sets watching Jesus Christ Superstar last night.  I knitted through the entire length of the movie.  I have no idea why this is taking so long.  The only explanation is that I’ve found yet another knitting vortex.  I’d be looking forward to finishing this sleeve, but instead, I dread, because I know I just have to knit another one before this sweater is done.  *sigh*

And because I love pictures, and my bicycle, here’s a picture I took as a “before” picture of some rust on my bicycle, but it really shows off the gorgeous paint color.

It’s all scratched up and stuff, but I’ll be repainting it.

Ok.  Off to jump into the vortex.

Oh, P.S. — I cooked dinner tonight, beef with egg noodles again, but I think tonight it came out the best I ever made it.  :]  And I’ll be making alfredo sauce again soon. . .mmmmm. . .my kitchen is clean!  The roomate picked up his car today and I want to say he’s totally out, but I believe he’s still got some crap in the basement.  But then that’s it!!