I just took my tree down.
I’m not sure I’m going to even get a tree next year. This year felt like absolutely nothing. There was no excitement, no anxious waiting for christmas day, it just felt like another day.
I don’t know if it was because I didn’t get that many presents to give, and the ones I did give were kind of lame, and because I didn’t get anything to put in the stockings, or if it was because my whole family like, fell apart this year, I don’t know what did it.
I’m so angry. I don’t know how to fix what’s wrong in my life. I’d love to say that I believe I can accomplish my New Years’ Resolutions next year, but honestly I don’t think I will. I didn’t do any of them this year.
(1. To make myself happy - This includes everything that makes me unhappy, like getting myself a better job, or making one for myself that I can enjoy, paying off my debt so that I don’t have to worry about it anymore, doing things in my spare time so that I don’t feel as though I’m wasting the younger years of my life, and finding people who are capable of being actual friends, to tell and listen, care and advise, etc. There are so many things going on in my life right now that make me unhappy, and I need to figure out ways to make them stop.
2. To finish the things I start - I have a horrible habit of starting something, or coming up with an idea, and then doing absolutely nothing to follow through with it. )
Rob said after the new year begins, he’s going to give me homework assignments, to help me learn php. I hope I don’t get too mad/frustrated. Sometimes I feel so dense that I actually hinder my own learning.
The roomate’s gf is supposed to be out by January. Hopefully then I’ll have my house back. I’m kind of hoping the roomate goes too. We’d have to get another one, but the potential candidates wouldn’t be anywhere near as bad as the current one.
I already finished book one of Narnia, last night. I might start another one tonight, but I might just play video games instead.
I know my entries haven’t been the deepest of thought, or very coherent at all. I don’t even know if anyone’s reading this, but if there is anyone, I apologize. I’ll try and get my shit together in Jan.
December 27th, 2005 at 12:32 am
So I was scrolling though this blog, my excitement increasing because I’m seeing no comments and expected to have the honor of the first one. My hopes, however, were dashed
Christmas felt like nothing special to me either. Then again, no days really seem special. Not Thanksgiving. Not Halloween. Not even my birthday. I joked at the dinner table that we were celebrating “X-Mas,” not Christmas.