Jeans and Sneakers

So all weekend I’ve been pretty down about this whole work situation thing. I think I actually thought about praying that something will happen. I don’t know if it’s an answer to my prayers, but today at work, Ben offered to have me stay and bump up my salary a considerable amount, but only if I’d learn (not like I’ve been trying to not learn, but I won’t go there.), and only if I stopped being a scumbag, and started being responsible and coming in every day of every week.

I told him I’d think about it. Originally I thought, let me wait and see what this auto insurance internship says, if they’ll take me or not. But after thinking about it, even if they take me, I’ll feel guilty for not staying here, since the internship would be paying less than the pay increase, and plus it’s only a part time position. So I’m leaning pretty far towards staying at my job, even though I totally hate it, and anything I learn I’d have to put to use on my own, cause it’s not like you can use porn sites in your portfolio when applying for a mainstream job. But I think I’m still going to wait and see what the internship says before giving an answer. I’m really kind of hoping for another solution. While what my current job offered me is more money than I’ve made thus far, I can’t be sure that I’m not going to just snap and walk out, god knows I’ve come close before.

And plus, the whole premise of me moving from customer service to the department I’m in now, was that I’d learn, and for like two months straight, I kept asking for things, and I got brushed off, told to talk on the message boards. And now Ben tells me that it doesn’t seem like I want to learn. Whatever. I hope there’s another solution to this, but I doubt there will be. At least I won’t have to buy a whole new wardrobe.

And in life stupidity today, my roomate took down his christmas stocking that I put up for him, (that I bought for him last year). I thought it fell down, but he told me that he took it down because he felt bad that his girlfriend didn’t have one up there. She’s not supposed to be living here. She never was. So why would she feel she had the right to have a stocking up here? I don’t know. Anyway, I had told him like two months ago that I was buying a christmas tree, and putting up the stockings from last year, and he laughed and said go ahead, she would have to deal. And now he forfeits christmas (for him anyway, we’re still having it) because I don’t want her to have a stocking in my house. Retarded. Way to approve of something one day, and change your mind when your gf yells at you.

I’m tired, and I finally did all of my xmas cards, and presents. . .except for one that will take me all week. . .oh. . .and my company holiday party is going to be at Scores on Thursday. Fabulous.